Sometime back while on a public vehicle, I happened to be seated in front of two young ladies who were having an animated conversation on a range of life issues.
Given the nature of Kenyans on PSVs,(Passenger Serving Vehicles), many were hardly talking except for pleasantries and demanding their money changes from suspicious looking touts.
Being ears reach from the two ladies, I got wind of the marriage topic they were discussing.The fact that they cast aspersions on the married and the marriage institution surprised me.
The two young ladies, fit as fiddles, averagely beautiful and potential mothers were saying that marriage does not work in the 21st century and would instead live as single women or single mothers.
We are all aware of the fact that marriage has its own ups and downs, but that should not be a justification for saying no to it mainly by single unmarried women or men.
Folklore, in a bid to inspire women to embrace the marriage institution, tells of how the 19th-century woman could withstand the challenges that arose in marriage, including her cheeks being warmed with fiery slaps but could still not pack her bags and leave😢😢.
However, it appears that a lot must have changed since then. Of course, the issue of male chauvinism is also a factor to consider per se.
Not like a script to rehearse before the stage play, a simple misunderstanding, remark, or a more complicated scenario like unfaithfulness or domestic violence in marriage could throw the spanner in the works, rendering the once an oasis of joy into a desert of its former self.
Most youths have been on the forefront to castigate the marriage life, citing abuse, infidelity, and mistreatment of the spouse.Whether its something they see and hear from their married neighbors, I cannot tell for sure.
But for a fact, moral indecency and deprivation could be a significant factor affecting the marriage institution today.
In the olden days, before many of us had the chance to see the sun, stories concerning sex, one’s sexual escapades, and bedroom matters were spoken in hush tones and were considered private but not anymore.The internet, as I write this is awash with all kinds of funny and quite shameful stories about a pastor caught in the act, somebody’s wife or husband adultery ways busted, a man marrying his house help as a second wife.
If you think this is enough to change attitudes and perceptions toward marriage then you need check again.I want to believe that no one is oblivious to the fact that our radio stations are darlings to topics that center on infidelity, divorce, domestic violence resulting in the death of a spouse, homicides and you name them in a bid to win more listeners and heat up their shows.
From the foregoing, whether you choose to confirm or deny it, its quite clear that our minds are being fed with bad, negative and sad information day in day out about the marriage institution.
Unknowingly, we pick the attitudes, perceptions and the spirits of those we listen to more often that we think.
This culminates in a phobia towards the married and the marriage institution.Thanks to
technology, your Smartphone makes available all the ‘juicy’ gossip you will want to hear about a celebrity or prominent person.
As if not enough, the marriage institution has been mocked severally by wedding attendees who show up at a wedding to celebrate their friends’ wedding but talk negatively about marriage.
Worse still, the issue of a mistress, commonly referred to as ‘mpango wa kando‘ has been a much-hyped topic that it no longer looks distasteful but a way of life to the married.
I don’t know where the rains started beating us, but something has to change really fast.
Recently, while attending a brethren fellowship, the marriage topic could not escape the
speech of those present as it was clear that the men, in particular, had broken their vows (if they were made at all) in search of the other woman. This begs the question: are men natural explorers who feel tamed with one woman or is it the women who have a problem with keeping their men?
As a final thought, I believe marriage is still holy, God-ordained and still has the reverence it deserves.Therefore, going forward, the youth and the unmarried should borrow a leaf from couples who have walked the talk, lived in the test of times and still stand with their marriage vows. Are there any in the first place? Yes, I believe we still have some good souls left.
On the contrary, while it is good to listen and empathize, they should shun the advice and negative talk from those who have fallen victim or are paying a price for their wrong moves.
What do you think?
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If you are a recent Kenyan graduate or through with your coursework and waiting for graduation I must congratulate you for coming this far. It not only a privilege but an honor that you can be counted among University graduates in Kenya.
It is undeniable though, that many graduates feel not so confident about their hard-earned degrees because of the skyrocketing levels of unemployment in Kenya today. Of more concern is the fact our Universities are less focused on a learning system that encourage students to be researchers and entrepreneurs. Most of their learning systems are based on theory and lecture jargons at the expense of research-based learning that encourages students to be researchers, innovative and think out of the box.
Four years down the line, one comes out with a paper giving them the power to read and write and do what appertains to that particular BSc. or B.A degree but not so much to fit in a job marketplace. Many employers will confess that a particular candidate, though well-learned as their papers show, lack self-confidence, communicates poorly, has no career goals and cannot transform class learned material into real-life situations.
Such scenarios are not uncommon. It’s pathetic that a person with a low-level education such as Diploma but vast experience tends to have an upper hand when it comes to employment, compared to a recent graduate. This is not to say that graduates come out of college half-baked. Most employers usually look for the experience which the graduate may be lacking at that particular point in time. Unfortunately enough, the graduate is not equipped and groomed to venture into entrepreneurship. What transpires is several cases of a graduate moving from one office to the other with no possibility of finding employment.
A study reveals that it takes an average of 5 years for a graduate to get employed in Kenya. Recently, a job posting was circulated through social media and thousands must have been on it sending applications and hoping to get considered. Interestingly, enough, the post had been send and resend all over till I also resend it to a friend who had sent it earlier to me. That clearly tells you the job desperation that recent graduates are going through right now.
Here is the job posting that was circulated via WhatsApp
Currently, many graduates have resorted to online writing jobs as a way to cushion themselves from the biting unemployment levels. One such graduate was surprised to learn that she was a long time neighbor to another coursemate of hers who was living in the same neighborhood doing online jobs. Indeed, online writing jobs have become the order of the day as more and more unemployed youth continue to make a living through this new found oasis of online work.
Many seem to be doing well with online jobs, however, this should only be a means to an end. There is much you could still do online such as drop shipping, opening your own commercial blog or website, starting a freelance writing business or a blog on a particular niche.
According to Business Fundamentals, a book compiled by Global Text Project, if you think that you were not cut out to be an entrepreneur, you are wrong. Many were shunned and told they would amount to nothing but they went on to become very great entrepreneurs. To cut the story short, entrepreneurs are not born but made. The book mentions particular marks of an entrepreneur which sum up the mindset of an entrepreneur. These include:
- Vision: Ability to create and communicate an easily understandable mission for what your new venture does in order to successfully launch a new business. This is accomplished while inspiring others to join you in your new enterprise.
- Creativity: Ability to inject imagination and uniqueness into a new business venture. It takes skill and ingenuity to create a new venture equipped with strategies to outsmart the competition.
- Focus: Able to maintain the vision of the company with unwavering diligence. It’s very easy to get sidetracked especially if you find it necessary to evolve the original vision. Ironically, we have encountered many successful entrepreneurs who get bored easily.
- Passion: Desiring to succeed under your own steam [initiative] on a business venture.
- Drive: Possessing intrinsic energy to accomplish the business goal even in the face of adversity.
- Perseverance: Able to keep going even when faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
- Opportunistic Nature sees the possibilities even before they exist. Can take advantage of an upcoming trend or unite unrelated processes to create a unique business venture.
- Problem Solving Ability: Thrives on coming up with solutions to complex challenges.
- Self-discipline: Able to be organized and regimented in pursuit of a successful business venture.
- Frugality: Knows how to stretch every cent so that expenditures are as low as possible.
- Empathy: Able to put yourself in another’s shoes and therefore able to show sensitivity and understanding of what others are communicating in the startup environment.
- Social Responsibility: Ethics, caring, and humanitarianism are characteristics that are commonly found in today’s entrepreneurs.
- Spirituality: We have found that successful entrepreneurs have often devoted time to spirituality development. Meditation and positive affirmations are two common examples of spirituality.
- Good Timing: Able to identify a market opportunity and know when it’s the optimum time to launch a new venture or expansion of an existing enterprise.
You are the only limit to what you can do. Sheryl Sandberg says it all in her quote that we hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in.
With the current employment status in Kenya, Kenya needs visionary entrepreneurs who will rise up to the occasion and begins startups and ventures that will transform Kenya’s economic landscape thereby creating more jobs and making life economically better for Kenyans.
The subject of money is exciting at the same time strikes you with deep thoughts about your financial future.
In your 20’s life seems like a roller coaster where you want to live a carefree life, make merry and drink yourself silly. However, in your 30’s life ushers in a new set of responsibilities as you begin to settle into family life.
Some, realize late that at this stage the financial risks you take are more detrimental than when you could have taken them while in your 20’s and single.
Rather than wait for 40’s to catch up with you, there are simple measures that you can take that will guarantee you a financially secure 40. Read on to know them well.
#1. Save and Avoid Consumer Loans
Everyone wants to make their life better. However, this does not mean that you should borrow a loan to take your lifestyle to the next level. Unfortunately, many people get embroiled in consumer loans that make them poorer. Financial institutions are always willing and ready to give you their money anytime you qualify and need the money. Nevertheless, they are not going to be there for you when you are broke and cannot service your consumer debts.
To be on the safe side borrow money to invest. When your job still gives you the opportunity to borrow a loan, take advantage of the opportunity by putting your money into good investments that are worth your money and sacrifice. Again, ensure to save and invest first before putting all your money into your lifestyle expenses.
#2. Work Smarter
Working smarter is totally different from working harder. A person who works hard spends much more time to achieve the same results a smart worker achieves for a far less time.
There is no rocket science to this but the difference is that the smart worker has realized there is a way he can achieve much more in a far less time.
For example, an employee who sits at his office from 9-5 pm may be busy yet not making any progress. On the hand, an entrepreneur running his business could be making more money in a day for a lesser time compared to the office worker.
You need to think forward. What better ways could you use to solve problems today that were never used in the years before? For instance, if you run a company that needs collecting data, what are you better at using? Is it electronic data collection tools such as ODK and commcare or use of manuals like pen and paper to collect data.
What do you think are the resources that you could leverage on to make your life better? It could be money, time, experience or networks. Find it out.
#3. Have an additional Source of Income
If you are like James Mworia, the CEO of Centum Investments who rakes in Ksh 16.9 Million as his monthly salary, or Bob Collymore, CEO Safaricom who takes home Ksh 10 Million per month you can as well focus on your job solely till retirement. If not, then consider having an additional source of income to supplement your main income. If you only depend on your main source of incoming for a living, then you could be brewing trouble in the future.
If you happen to lose your job, considering that you have a family to take care of, you might get stuck on how you will pay school fees for your kids besides servicing other loans. What is your passion? What skills do you have that you can put to good use for your business? It could be freelance writing, consultancy or blogging.
#4. Get Medical Cover
Well, just as it is said that Christ will come back as a thief so is sickness when it strikes. You are better off having a medical cover that can take care of you and your family in emergency situations.
Most people tend to rely on NHIF cards that are limited in terms of providing a comprehensive medical cover for their clients. Consider getting an additional medical cover that will cover you and your family sufficiently when dire situations come along.
Also, there are other insurance policies that you could look into such as life insurance, house insurance among others.
#5. Focus on Both Short-term and Long-term Investments
Some of the long term investments you could focus on include purchasing land or investing in government eleven-year bonds. However, as much as land increases in value over time, how are they going to help you acquire quick money when you need it most.
Rather than focus on accumulating properties all over, you could use your money to build systems and businesses that work for you even in your absence. As such, you can be sure of a constant stream of income even in your sleep.
According to psychology, human beings have a way of defending themselves against negative or bad feelings. Some choose to live in denial, others will use projection while others will choose to be irrational. Still, others will use misplaced aggression to feel better about themselves.
For sure, nobody under the sun is immune to life problems and challenges that keep on hitting us left, right and center. I need not tell you that they are never going to stop anytime sooner. And it is not in your place to ask life so many questions or question everything about life. It is not only about better and sweet but sometimes bitter sometimes sweet. Have you ever tried to picture your life without challenges? It will be so boring than you can ever imagine.
Challenges are Necessary
Visualize yourself waking up one morning to an already set breakfast table. And you do not need to work because the government is providing everything for you. Yours is to eat, sleep, play and watch television. Besides, the government is footing all your bills including your leisurely activities. Now picture yourself living this kind of life for a year. Where is the sense of accomplishment or achievement? What can you look about your life and feel proud of yourself? I would say nothing.
Life is full of both positives and negatives in equal measure. When we encounter positives, we live life to the fullest and celebrate over and over, however, when negatives hit us, many of us do not have the mental stamina to withstand the pressure.
Overcoming the Negatives
Therefore, one important skill that will do you well in life is to have a mindset that will shock absorb the many storms you will need to wither in life.
For instance, one of the common negativities we experience in our daily lives are insults, mockery and bad news from the people around us. Interestingly, the people throwing the negatives at you, in most cases are hurting too and they will project their frustrations on you. He or she could be in a bad relationship and will want to paint a picture of you being the cause of his or her relationship problems. At one time I sat close to a lady who remarked that all men are dogs! Probably, she was hurting from a relationship that turned sour. But you will be surprised to learn that few months down the line she got into a relationship with a man. Some men have also called women demons but still, live with them under one roof.
You need not react on such situations whatsoever but respond. When reacting you will use more of your emotions and are likely to cause yourself and the other person more harm, however, when you respond, you respond with reason and an objective disposition, therefore, calming down the situation.
Furthermore, many people use misplaced aggression as a technique to feel better or recover from their bad feelings. For example, Samantha gets quarreled by her mother for waking up late and therefore getting late to school. Well, Samantha does not react or respond to her mother but when she gets to school she vents her anger and pain on her desk mate and other schoolmates. Did her schoolmates really deserve the treatment? No! But Samantha is feeling better now.
If you approach the above-mentioned incidence, with this knowledge in mind, you will realize that there is no point of fighting fire with fire but be objective and understand the other person’s disposition, in this case, Samantha.
You Have the Power
Lucia had badly hurt her close friend Eunice with terrible insults about her body. As result, Eunice was deeply wounded and was sobbing uncontrollably. Well, if you have been on the receiving end of any kind of negative words, you know it is not easy to swallow such words. Such words could come from the person you call your best friend, your boss, your spouse, colleague or parent. However, we have the willpower in us to choose how we want to feel about the situation. My best shot is, rather than shut up and brood later over the negatives thrown at you, counter such negative attacks with positives.
I remember at one point, I was enjoying some good music and singing the song as it played along. But it turned out that my neighbor was not very comfortable with my voice and so he remarked that I should shut up because my voice is hoarse and terrible. Well, I responded immediately on a lighter note and told him “You are wrong! That was a sweet angelic voice you were listening to” We all burst out laughing. Funny enough is the fact that I was able to neutralize the tense situation as fast as it came.
As the proverbial quote goes, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Have a positive day.
What is humility? Some say it is accepting who you are. Not thinking highly of yourself. Not putting yourself before others. Being humble.
The Merriam Webster dictionary defines humility as having freedom from pride or arrogance.
But I must say that not many people practice the virtue of humility. More so because they deem it as a weakness, or they feel it as not so important as a virtue to them in getting the good things in life. It is even more fascinating to learn that it is a virtue that we appreciate it more in other people than ourselves.
In practicing humility, it is not about thinking very little about yourself, but having a heart that does not only think about itself.
When you practice humility you will:
- Be humble enough to accept that you don’t know something
- Be humble enough to do lowest tasks and lowest duties
- Give attention to the lowest in society
- Serve others without complaining
- Stand to be corrected even when you feel you are right
- Lose an argument for the sake of a win for both parties actually
- Find it easy helping other people
- Be patient enough to wait for something or someone.
If you do not relate to any of the above, then you need to learn how to practice them for the sake of changing lives and for the good of the society.
What other marks of humility do you think should be added to the list?
John as his friends call him is a young man born in Busia County. His birth names are Patrick Sitati. Since he finished college, John has been in search of white collar jobs but he is always hitting at a dead end. This is something many young people in Kenya can relate to.
Unemployment notwithstanding, John’s character is also wanting. He is always complaining about everything and everybody but himself. According to him, there is nothing wrong with him but the people and situations around him. John occasionally goes on a tirade on how the Kenyan economy is bad, how county governments are immersed in corruption and nepotism, how the local church is full of hypocrites and out to do business than cure souls. His vision and future are blocked by a mountain of complaints.
Well, what John does not realize is that unless he takes responsibility and changes his own self and negativity nothing good is going to come out of his life just yet.
Mary is a social worker, employed by the local government but she is always complaining about her meager salary and how it is never enough to foot her bills. Unfortunately for Mary, she is blind to the fact that complaining never moved mountains it is only the faith of a mustard seed put into practical action with a positive attitude that can change her life history. Previously, before she got employed, Mary used to put up at her sister’s place and was totally supported by her sister. Not even could she afford money to buy airtime to chat with her friends.
Six months into her job, Mary stopped being grateful for her job and forgot that before then she could not afford her basic needs. Suddenly, the money has become little, the workplace is boring and she feels she deserves better. And there she was: complaining and into the blame game.
It is Not about What You Have but What You Can Do With What You Have
Well, how many of us go through life with this mental condition? We have this sense of entitlement and we always believe that we deserve better than what we already have. It’s my land, my job, my position, my car, my mansion. Come on! Spare me the want and be grateful for once. Okay, hold on! I didn’t say stop being ambitious and pursuing your life goals. But first, be grateful for the little you have and stop whining about everything.
It is quite unfortunate that quite a few have fallen into the trap of living a superficial life and many are never satisfied. How many of us remember to be grateful every night we put our heads to bed? Many lie confused, disgusted and discouraged about plans that never went through, a deal that turned sour or rewinding the insults we received during the day. Why focus on the negatives and hurt even further?
Instead, choose to be grateful for life, for the good health, for the three square meals you ate with relish, the good, supportive friends you have, the shoes under your feet, the roof above you and you will count your blessings daily. The little things we take for granted on a daily basis are actually the things God want us to give thanks unto him and thank him also in advance for more that is to come.
Human beings have a tendency of pointing a finger at many other things that are wrong about them without examining their own selves. Christ was quick to point out this when he mentioned to the Pharisees why they were quick to look aty the speck of sawdust in their brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in their own eye (Matthew 7:3).
Correct the wrongs in you and see how fast you will change.
Before I delve further into this topic, I need to ask, are you comfortable with your body image? Do you love yourself appearance right now at the time of reading this article? If yes, happy you but if not you better tag along for amazing tips on how to improve your body image.
Firstly, I will define body image by saying that it is how you perceive yourself. It is the mental picture you have of your body. The image you see in front of your mirror is your body image. Do you admire yourself in the mirror or sulk at every moment you have to look at yourself in a mirror? Read on and learn how to improve your body image.
Without a doubt, exercise is one amazing activity to lift your spirits and make you feel good about yourself. Different people have different ways of exercising. Some prefer to go for long walks. Others prefer lifting weight while some will go for the morning runs. Well, choose what works best for you and stick to a routine. You will wonderfully feel better about your body and yourself.
#2 Be Choosy on What You Read on Social Media
You might feel good or not care at all when people talk ill of someone else appearance, be it on social media or nearby friends. However, when you find yourself on the receiving end of such like a conversation, trust me, you will totally feel wounded.
To build your body image, avoid social media content that is out to demean and make fun of other peoples body images. You may happen to relate to one of the body image being mocked and you won’t be left with good feelings either. To improve your body image, fill your mind with positivity and realistic body images that are not over glorified. Unfortunately, in this era and age of socialites, many, especially our good ladies would want to pamper their behinds to appear trendy and “socially acceptable”.
#3 Learn to Admire Yourself
Once in a while appreciate your image in front of a mirror and stop worshipping the body images of celebrities. You are just as fearfully and wonderfully made as you think they are. Is there something you are proud and would be happy to share it around? You better put your focus on good things about you.
Rather than frown every other time you stand in front of a mirror, afford a smile and strike a majestic pose. No need to share pictures on social media to get approval from your followers. Your worth and body image are not determined by how many likes and comments you get on social media.
The less you focus on the things you do not like about your body, the faster you will forget thinking about them. If a body feature on you cannot be changed through proper diet and exercise, better accept and learn to live with it. You will appreciate yourself more.
#4 Spoil Yourself Once in a Moment
To build your body image, it matters a lot how you treat yourself. Improve your body image by doing those things you rarely do for yourself. For instance, you could choose to visit a massage parlor and get the best of service for your body if the hearsay behind massage parlors is not anything to go by.
You could also find yourself a sweet-smelling body splash, cream or make-up (for the ladies) and make yourself the most dazzling bachelor or bachelorette in town. Do not forget to read self-help books that motivate and help you build your self-confidence which works well to improve your body image.
#5 Surround Yourself with Positivity
Attract positive things in your life by affirming, believing and anticipating for them. There is no point of wanting to build your body image when all you do is surround yourself with people who only talk about other people body flaws and weaknesses.
You will improve your body image, once you start appreciating the beauty around you, the beauty in others and being grateful for the many things have and always take for granted. Get to spend more time with people who want to build you and not to destroy you.
And there you are! the darling of all.
In his international bestseller, The POWER of POSITIVE THINKING, Norman has been able to touch many lives through his unique formula for overcoming a spirit of defeat and inadequacy. His book radiates a rare sense of optimism and faith that knows no bounds whatsoever.Many have described him as the father of positive thinking.
Great business leaders have attested their success in business to the positivity principles Norman mentions in his bestseller. Actually, Donald Trump acknowledges the teachings of Norman Vincent Peale to his success in entrepreneurship. Back in the 1990’s Trump used to be described as a flamboyant entrepreneur.
Trump does not fail to recognize the fact that the teachings of Norman Vincent Peale instilled a sense of positivity in him and made him the person he is today.
Reading through Norman’s book, he outlines 10 effective rules for effective prayer and you better know them for a success story in your life.
- Set aside a few minutes every day. Do not say anything. Simply practice thinking about God. This will make your mind spiritually receptive.
- Then pray orally, using simple, natural words. Tell God anything that is on your mind. Do not think you must use stereotyped pious phrases. Talk to God in your own language. He understands it.
- Pray as you go about the business of the day, on the subway or bus or at your desk. Utilize minute prayers by closing your eyes to shut out the world and concentrating briefly on God’s presence. The more you do this every day, the nearer you will feel God’s presence.
- Do not always ask when you pray, but affirm that God’s blessings are being given, and spend most of your prayers giving thanks.
- Pray with the belief that sincere prayers can reach out and surround your loved ones with God’s love and protection.
- Never use a negative thought in prayer.Only positive thoughts get results.
- Always express willingness to accept God’s will.Ask for what you want but be willing to take what God gives you. It may be better than what you ask for.
- Practice the attitude of putting everything in God’s hands. Ask for the ability to go your best and leave the results confidently to God.
- Pray for people you do not like or who have mistreated you. Resentment is blockade number one of spiritual power.
- Make a list of people for whom to pray. The more you pray for other people, especially not connected with you, the more prayer results will come back to you.
If you really want to have a productive prayer life, I would suggest you read Norman Vincent Peale rules on useful results from prayer over and over. Ensure you also get yourself a copy of his international bestseller, The POWER of POSITIVE THINKING and your life story will be good news to many.
Share to bless a friend.
How is effective is your prayer life? Let me know in the comments section below.