According to psychology, human beings have a way of defending themselves against negative or bad feelings. Some choose to live in denial, others will use projection while others will choose to be irrational. Still, others will use misplaced aggression to feel better about themselves.
For sure, nobody under the sun is immune to life problems and challenges that keep on hitting us left, right and center. I need not tell you that they are never going to stop anytime sooner. And it is not in your place to ask life so many questions or question everything about life. It is not only about better and sweet but sometimes bitter sometimes sweet. Have you ever tried to picture your life without challenges? It will be so boring than you can ever imagine.
Challenges are Necessary
Visualize yourself waking up one morning to an already set breakfast table. And you do not need to work because the government is providing everything for you. Yours is to eat, sleep, play and watch television. Besides, the government is footing all your bills including your leisurely activities. Now picture yourself living this kind of life for a year. Where is the sense of accomplishment or achievement? What can you look about your life and feel proud of yourself? I would say nothing.
Life is full of both positives and negatives in equal measure. When we encounter positives, we live life to the fullest and celebrate over and over, however, when negatives hit us, many of us do not have the mental stamina to withstand the pressure.
Overcoming the Negatives
Therefore, one important skill that will do you well in life is to have a mindset that will shock absorb the many storms you will need to wither in life.
For instance, one of the common negativities we experience in our daily lives are insults, mockery and bad news from the people around us. Interestingly, the people throwing the negatives at you, in most cases are hurting too and they will project their frustrations on you. He or she could be in a bad relationship and will want to paint a picture of you being the cause of his or her relationship problems. At one time I sat close to a lady who remarked that all men are dogs! Probably, she was hurting from a relationship that turned sour. But you will be surprised to learn that few months down the line she got into a relationship with a man. Some men have also called women demons but still, live with them under one roof.
You need not react on such situations whatsoever but respond. When reacting you will use more of your emotions and are likely to cause yourself and the other person more harm, however, when you respond, you respond with reason and an objective disposition, therefore, calming down the situation.
Furthermore, many people use misplaced aggression as a technique to feel better or recover from their bad feelings. For example, Samantha gets quarreled by her mother for waking up late and therefore getting late to school. Well, Samantha does not react or respond to her mother but when she gets to school she vents her anger and pain on her desk mate and other schoolmates. Did her schoolmates really deserve the treatment? No! But Samantha is feeling better now.
If you approach the above-mentioned incidence, with this knowledge in mind, you will realize that there is no point of fighting fire with fire but be objective and understand the other person’s disposition, in this case, Samantha.
You Have the Power
Lucia had badly hurt her close friend Eunice with terrible insults about her body. As result, Eunice was deeply wounded and was sobbing uncontrollably. Well, if you have been on the receiving end of any kind of negative words, you know it is not easy to swallow such words. Such words could come from the person you call your best friend, your boss, your spouse, colleague or parent. However, we have the willpower in us to choose how we want to feel about the situation. My best shot is, rather than shut up and brood later over the negatives thrown at you, counter such negative attacks with positives.
I remember at one point, I was enjoying some good music and singing the song as it played along. But it turned out that my neighbor was not very comfortable with my voice and so he remarked that I should shut up because my voice is hoarse and terrible. Well, I responded immediately on a lighter note and told him “You are wrong! That was a sweet angelic voice you were listening to” We all burst out laughing. Funny enough is the fact that I was able to neutralize the tense situation as fast as it came.
As the proverbial quote goes, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Have a positive day.
What is humility? Some say it is accepting who you are. Not thinking highly of yourself. Not putting yourself before others. Being humble.
The Merriam Webster dictionary defines humility as having freedom from pride or arrogance.
But I must say that not many people practice the virtue of humility. More so because they deem it as a weakness, or they feel it as not so important as a virtue to them in getting the good things in life. It is even more fascinating to learn that it is a virtue that we appreciate it more in other people than ourselves.
In practicing humility, it is not about thinking very little about yourself, but having a heart that does not only think about itself.
When you practice humility you will:
- Be humble enough to accept that you don’t know something
- Be humble enough to do lowest tasks and lowest duties
- Give attention to the lowest in society
- Serve others without complaining
- Stand to be corrected even when you feel you are right
- Lose an argument for the sake of a win for both parties actually
- Find it easy helping other people
- Be patient enough to wait for something or someone.
If you do not relate to any of the above, then you need to learn how to practice them for the sake of changing lives and for the good of the society.
What other marks of humility do you think should be added to the list?
John as his friends call him is a young man born in Busia County. His birth names are Patrick Sitati. Since he finished college, John has been in search of white collar jobs but he is always hitting at a dead end. This is something many young people in Kenya can relate to.
Unemployment notwithstanding, John’s character is also wanting. He is always complaining about everything and everybody but himself. According to him, there is nothing wrong with him but the people and situations around him. John occasionally goes on a tirade on how the Kenyan economy is bad, how county governments are immersed in corruption and nepotism, how the local church is full of hypocrites and out to do business than cure souls. His vision and future are blocked by a mountain of complaints.
Well, what John does not realize is that unless he takes responsibility and changes his own self and negativity nothing good is going to come out of his life just yet.
Mary is a social worker, employed by the local government but she is always complaining about her meager salary and how it is never enough to foot her bills. Unfortunately for Mary, she is blind to the fact that complaining never moved mountains it is only the faith of a mustard seed put into practical action with a positive attitude that can change her life history. Previously, before she got employed, Mary used to put up at her sister’s place and was totally supported by her sister. Not even could she afford money to buy airtime to chat with her friends.
Six months into her job, Mary stopped being grateful for her job and forgot that before then she could not afford her basic needs. Suddenly, the money has become little, the workplace is boring and she feels she deserves better. And there she was: complaining and into the blame game.
It is Not about What You Have but What You Can Do With What You Have
Well, how many of us go through life with this mental condition? We have this sense of entitlement and we always believe that we deserve better than what we already have. It’s my land, my job, my position, my car, my mansion. Come on! Spare me the want and be grateful for once. Okay, hold on! I didn’t say stop being ambitious and pursuing your life goals. But first, be grateful for the little you have and stop whining about everything.
It is quite unfortunate that quite a few have fallen into the trap of living a superficial life and many are never satisfied. How many of us remember to be grateful every night we put our heads to bed? Many lie confused, disgusted and discouraged about plans that never went through, a deal that turned sour or rewinding the insults we received during the day. Why focus on the negatives and hurt even further?
Instead, choose to be grateful for life, for the good health, for the three square meals you ate with relish, the good, supportive friends you have, the shoes under your feet, the roof above you and you will count your blessings daily. The little things we take for granted on a daily basis are actually the things God want us to give thanks unto him and thank him also in advance for more that is to come.
Human beings have a tendency of pointing a finger at many other things that are wrong about them without examining their own selves. Christ was quick to point out this when he mentioned to the Pharisees why they were quick to look aty the speck of sawdust in their brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in their own eye (Matthew 7:3).
Correct the wrongs in you and see how fast you will change.
Before I delve further into this topic, I need to ask, are you comfortable with your body image? Do you love yourself appearance right now at the time of reading this article? If yes, happy you but if not you better tag along for amazing tips on how to improve your body image.
Firstly, I will define body image by saying that it is how you perceive yourself. It is the mental picture you have of your body. The image you see in front of your mirror is your body image. Do you admire yourself in the mirror or sulk at every moment you have to look at yourself in a mirror? Read on and learn how to improve your body image.
Without a doubt, exercise is one amazing activity to lift your spirits and make you feel good about yourself. Different people have different ways of exercising. Some prefer to go for long walks. Others prefer lifting weight while some will go for the morning runs. Well, choose what works best for you and stick to a routine. You will wonderfully feel better about your body and yourself.
#2 Be Choosy on What You Read on Social Media
You might feel good or not care at all when people talk ill of someone else appearance, be it on social media or nearby friends. However, when you find yourself on the receiving end of such like a conversation, trust me, you will totally feel wounded.
To build your body image, avoid social media content that is out to demean and make fun of other peoples body images. You may happen to relate to one of the body image being mocked and you won’t be left with good feelings either. To improve your body image, fill your mind with positivity and realistic body images that are not over glorified. Unfortunately, in this era and age of socialites, many, especially our good ladies would want to pamper their behinds to appear trendy and “socially acceptable”.
#3 Learn to Admire Yourself
Once in a while appreciate your image in front of a mirror and stop worshipping the body images of celebrities. You are just as fearfully and wonderfully made as you think they are. Is there something you are proud and would be happy to share it around? You better put your focus on good things about you.
Rather than frown every other time you stand in front of a mirror, afford a smile and strike a majestic pose. No need to share pictures on social media to get approval from your followers. Your worth and body image are not determined by how many likes and comments you get on social media.
The less you focus on the things you do not like about your body, the faster you will forget thinking about them. If a body feature on you cannot be changed through proper diet and exercise, better accept and learn to live with it. You will appreciate yourself more.
#4 Spoil Yourself Once in a Moment
To build your body image, it matters a lot how you treat yourself. Improve your body image by doing those things you rarely do for yourself. For instance, you could choose to visit a massage parlor and get the best of service for your body if the hearsay behind massage parlors is not anything to go by.
You could also find yourself a sweet-smelling body splash, cream or make-up (for the ladies) and make yourself the most dazzling bachelor or bachelorette in town. Do not forget to read self-help books that motivate and help you build your self-confidence which works well to improve your body image.
#5 Surround Yourself with Positivity
Attract positive things in your life by affirming, believing and anticipating for them. There is no point of wanting to build your body image when all you do is surround yourself with people who only talk about other people body flaws and weaknesses.
You will improve your body image, once you start appreciating the beauty around you, the beauty in others and being grateful for the many things have and always take for granted. Get to spend more time with people who want to build you and not to destroy you.
And there you are! the darling of all.
In his international bestseller, The POWER of POSITIVE THINKING, Norman has been able to touch many lives through his unique formula for overcoming a spirit of defeat and inadequacy. His book radiates a rare sense of optimism and faith that knows no bounds whatsoever.Many have described him as the father of positive thinking.
Great business leaders have attested their success in business to the positivity principles Norman mentions in his bestseller. Actually, Donald Trump acknowledges the teachings of Norman Vincent Peale to his success in entrepreneurship. Back in the 1990’s Trump used to be described as a flamboyant entrepreneur.
Trump does not fail to recognize the fact that the teachings of Norman Vincent Peale instilled a sense of positivity in him and made him the person he is today.
Reading through Norman’s book, he outlines 10 effective rules for effective prayer and you better know them for a success story in your life.
- Set aside a few minutes every day. Do not say anything. Simply practice thinking about God. This will make your mind spiritually receptive.
- Then pray orally, using simple, natural words. Tell God anything that is on your mind. Do not think you must use stereotyped pious phrases. Talk to God in your own language. He understands it.
- Pray as you go about the business of the day, on the subway or bus or at your desk. Utilize minute prayers by closing your eyes to shut out the world and concentrating briefly on God’s presence. The more you do this every day, the nearer you will feel God’s presence.
- Do not always ask when you pray, but affirm that God’s blessings are being given, and spend most of your prayers giving thanks.
- Pray with the belief that sincere prayers can reach out and surround your loved ones with God’s love and protection.
- Never use a negative thought in prayer.Only positive thoughts get results.
- Always express willingness to accept God’s will.Ask for what you want but be willing to take what God gives you. It may be better than what you ask for.
- Practice the attitude of putting everything in God’s hands. Ask for the ability to go your best and leave the results confidently to God.
- Pray for people you do not like or who have mistreated you. Resentment is blockade number one of spiritual power.
- Make a list of people for whom to pray. The more you pray for other people, especially not connected with you, the more prayer results will come back to you.
If you really want to have a productive prayer life, I would suggest you read Norman Vincent Peale rules on useful results from prayer over and over. Ensure you also get yourself a copy of his international bestseller, The POWER of POSITIVE THINKING and your life story will be good news to many.
Share to bless a friend.
How is effective is your prayer life? Let me know in the comments section below.
You must have been surprised after realizing I lost quite some money online. Well, the experience was the best teacher and that’s why I want to share with you the one and twos on what you need to kickstart your freelancing career.
If you have been working on your regular job from 8 a.m to 5 p.m, this might appear to be difficult for you and almost impossible. But wait, nothing could be further from the truth. You can still juggle between two jobs with proper planning, commitment and timely communication.
I do freelancing as a part-time job while still maintaining my daytime job. It is only wise to quit your daytime job when your sure your freelancing career is stable, and it is already paying you way more than what you make in your regular daytime job.
So, what do you think you need to kickstart your freelancing career?
First on my list would be a desktop /laptop with good internet connection.
When I began freelancing 5 months ago, I had no laptop of my own and was using my mother’s mini-laptop. I could as well locate places with public wi-fi and spend there the better part of my day working on freelancing projects if I am not in my regular job.
Do not be cheated you can freelance with your smartphone. It is close to impossible and even if you were to do it using a smartphone, your work is bound to be poorly done without proper proof-reading.
However, you may be having a laptop but no access to internet connection or a public wi-fi utility. One more comfortable way to work with your own internet connection is to subscribe to Safaricom or Airtel internet bundles and press the wi-fi hotspot button on your smartphone to make the internet accessible by your personal computer or laptop.
The upper side of using Safaricom internet bundles is that it is very efficient compared to Airtel. Conversely, the packages get easily depleted with annoying warnings of your bundles being below 2Mbs. I always shift between the two networks depending on convenience and urgency of my work. Airtel bundles last for a longer time but are slow compared to Safaricom bundles.
A Proper Chair and Desktop Table
Really? Is this even a need in the first place? But when was the last time you sat straight in your chair while working on your computer. In most cases, you are always seated in a slanting posture or you seat leaning forward.
I need not remind you that for the safety and good health of your spinal cord, you better spend some bucks on a good table and seat for your freelancing career.
Have a Cash Back up
Having some cash with you to keep you going when kickstarting your freelance career is of great importance. You will come to realize that freelancing is not like a regular job where you get paid every end of the month, however, this may be subject to your own arrangement with your client.
Despite these, you also need to realize there are dry spell seasons in freelancing. It gets to a point where you bid for job endlessly with little or none forthcoming. It is at this point in time that your saved coins will keep you going and get you paying the bills.
Have an External Computer Storage
What happens when you wake up one day to find your computer crashed with all the important files and a client’s assignments.
As much as your internal memory may be large enough like let us say 1TB, you want to ensure that you have an external back up just in case your computer memory losses all the data stored.
Enroll for a Freelance Course and Learn one or two Technicalities about a Computer
I understand you may be a pro or skilled in a particular task or responsibility but no one is ever knowledgeable enough to stop learning. For you to be able to kickstart your freelancing career on a higher note, you are better off enrolling for a freelance course like article and SEO writing or transcription depending on your area of interest. Instead of starting off from square one like a novice, a freelance course will help you jumpstart your career as an intermediate or expert writer with well-paying writing and transcription gigs. We offer a freelance writing course for beginners an affordable fee, Click here for more information.
Some of the above-mentioned life changes might cost you money but you would rather have them and launch your freelancing career with a bang than start off behind the rest.
Let me know your thoughts and comments below.
Until next time esteemed reader.
If you also liked this post, kindly click the share button below.
You have heard the saying that when the going gets tough get tougher. If you have ever undergone a hardship period in your life, you know that it is not very easy to overcome. That is the time when only a handful of people you know in your life may pick up your call. At worst, you might be shunned by friends and walk as a lone ranger.
Tough situations could occur in our lives because of many reasons. Some could be self-inflicted, some could occur as a result of accidents in our lives or human error. Tough times could also occur because of reasons or situations beyond our control like the death of a loved one.
Examples of Tough Times in Our Lives
What do you think could make life tough? Here are some examples of tough times in our lives:
- When lacking basic needs or one of the basic needs in your life
- Loss or lack of a job
- A failing business.
- When unable to pay your debts
- A failed relationship or marriage
- When suffering from a chronic disease
- When facing death or the loss of a loved one
- When feeling weak and helpless
- Feeling depressed
- Feeling unworthy with no sense of achievement
Whether you have undergone a tough situation in your life or not, one thing we have to accept is that the world is not a very safe and fair place to be. Some break the law and walk scot free while others get convicted. The poor get poorer as the rich get richer.
However, your attitude towards your tough situation in life is what will determine whether you will come out of the tough situation tougher or weaker and on the verge of death.
How do People Handle Tough Times
People handle tough times differently. Some ways in which people handle tough times include:
- Drinking themselves silly to forget their problems
- Taking narcotics such as cocaine
- Living in denial
- Avoiding company with people and staying a loner
- Calling a close friend, priest or pastor
- Staying moody and getting angry at everybody
- Committing suicide
While most of the ways listed may offer you some relief over a hardship period in your life, not all will work for your good. Actually, some ways will sink you deeper into tougher times than you already are. So what way or ways can only work for our good when facing tough times in our lives? Accept that you are limited as a human being and depend on a higher power. In the case of a Christian call upon the living God.
- If faced with a situation where you feel unworthy and unable, tell yourself you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13)
- When lacking something in your life, speak to yourself about the word of God regarding his provision over your life. (Phil. 4:19)
- When fearful because of your enemies, remind yourself of God’s protection in his word. (Psalms 23:4)
- When facing defeat, know that the Lord will lead you to triumph. (2 Corinthians 2:14)
- When lacking the faith to trust in his word and his promises over your life, tell yourself that the Lord has allotted you a measure of faith.(Romans 12:3)
- When feeling depressed, know that the compassion and mercy of the Lord are there for you. (Lamentations 3:21-23)
- When feeling weak know that God is the strength of your life (Psalms 27:1)
- When facing death or loss of a loved one, have trust in God. (Prov. 3:5)
- When in sickness or ailing remind God of his healing in his word. (1 Peter 2: 24)
Well, if your beliefs about God are different, this action steps may not work out for you but you could give them a try. Confessing his words in your life will not make you feel better instantly, but will be help you find strength in overcoming tough times in your life ultimately helping you to overcome the tough time.
Tough times could just be the keys we need for a happy life.
Are you going through a tough time in your life right now? How are you handling it?
Forever Bright ® Toothgel is a proven dental care product that has amazing benefits which include:
- Sparkling tooth
- Contains animal products that are highly favorable for vegetarians
- Your tooth is well taken care of as it contains no fluoride
- Contains natural flavors such as peppermint that makes your mouth ever clean and fresh
- It has been formulated for use by the entire family
To get one of our market-proven toothgel make an order to MPESA
PAY BILL NUMBER: 400900
Complete the transaction by sending the Mpesa payment confirmation message to 0726352486
Forever Bright® Toothgel
Naturally safe dental product for you and your family
For a more taste of our products, visit our product page here
Here are the amazing benefits of our weight loss products.
- You will be able to regulate your uncontrolled appetite.
- You will be able to get back your energy, vitality, and strength after its use.
- You will lose your belly fat faster.
Make an order by visiting our product page https://goodlifekenya.com/our-products/ and make your order via the pay bill number provided or call Safaricom mobile number +254726352486.
Look good! Feel good!
As a woman, you could still be in your 20’s, feeling a free spirit, energetic and busy pursuing your career ambitions. However, as you climb up the age ladder, you will want to settle down with your significant other, give birth and raise a family. Well, better not delay the transition to family process because research over time has proven that a woman’s fertility depreciates with age.
How is this so? When women are born, it is common knowledge that they come with all the eggs they will ever have in their lifetime. However, as they age, their eggs also decrease not only in quantity but quality. You will, therefore, want to ensure that you give birth while still young and space your childbirth at reasonable and well-timed intervals.
In other words, a woman who delays giving birth increases the chances of not getting pregnant and having an unhealthy baby. Depending also on the age of your partner, it could also take longer for the woman to conceive. Worse still is the fact that you increase other pregnancy-related complications such as a miscarriage or giving birth through a caesarian section.
On the contrary, you could be a woman of a faith and a firm Christian believer who believes in the Biblical Sarah giving birth to Isaac way beyond her menopause. I respect your beliefs but if of a different view, allow me to dispel the myth that a woman could give birth at any age. It is a notion that no scientist has proven yet but a pure myth.
A woman who starts giving birth at 32 has a lower chance of conceiving compared to a woman who is 30 or below. At the age of 32, there is already a significant but gradual decrease in a woman’s conceiving power. When a woman clocks 35, her fertility is on a downward spiral, and by 40 her pregnancy potential will have declined by half.
Indeed, research in the past has given credence to the fact that a woman at age 30 has a 20% chance of conceiving each month as compared to a woman at age 40 who stands at a 5% conception rate monthly.
Here are a few pregnancy and birth risks to consider to women giving birth in old age:
- Older women are most likely to give birth via the caesarian section as compared to younger women.
- Genetic abnormalities and congenital disabilities are high in children born of mothers at an old age.
- A woman at age 40 stands a higher risk of miscarriage than a live birth.
- At the age of 35, a woman is 2.5 times more likely to give a stillbirth as compared to a younger woman. At 40, a woman is five times more likely to experience a stillbirth as compared to a woman at the age of 35.
- Other birth-related complications such as placenta abruption that occurs when the placenta separates itself from the uterus lining. However, this incidence occurs in a significantly low percentage of women.
- Placenta previa is also another congenital disability to consider that could affect women in old age. It occurs when the placenta covers the cervix partially or sometimes completely. This condition is said to affect 1 in 200 women. However, the situation could be dire for old age mothers.
That said, it is of essence to note that there are some catalysts to this congenital disability in women. It’s more common in women who may have a uterus surgery, gave birth through a caesarian section or gave birth to twins.
To a woman below 30 years of age,avoid the stress that comes with giving birth at the age of 32 and beyond. You are fully aware of the dangers that await you when you choose to go that direction. Some of the birth-related complications you will avoid when you give birth at a young age include having an abnormal genetic child and finding it difficult to conceive. Giving birth at a young age means you are fertile and at a prime age to conceive and give birth to healthy kids.
Conversely, to a woman beyond 30, it’s never too late. There are several cases of women who have given birth to healthy children at 30 and beyond. However, you want to make sure that you do not make the situation worse than it is already.