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The author with colleagues at a workstation.

Hey you, hope this post finds you well. We are in tough times as a country and it will be kind of you to check on your neighbor just to know how safe he or she is.

To our fallen brothers and sisters in different parts of the country, more so, Luo Nyanza, may God rest their souls in peace. One socialite was quoted to suggest that “msiba wa kujitakia hauna kilio” , but I choose to disagree in the strongest terms possible.

Our dear brothers and sisters chose to exercise their constitutional right to picket and demonstrate but rogue police officers caught up with them and mercilessly took their lives by the bullet.

There are two important questions  I need you to ask yourself today.

  1. How are you shaping the definition of your country as a citizen of Kenya? And
  2. What defines your person?

Too many of us hardly care the shit about what defines us as persons. We are busy shaping and defining our acquaintances, neighbors and friends but we hardly have the time to define ourselves.

We have left that job to our parents, pastors, employers, friends and village elders.

I am here to tell you that no one should define you but yourself. Honestly, were you blatantly convinced that you are stupid and cannot make it to law school or whatever career of your choice? Save me the bullshit.

Seriously? You were told you are not good in business and you chose to buy that? A beautiful you, fearfully and wonderfully made chose to take that in? Save me the crap.

You were told you are not dateable and you believed it? Really? A whole you?

Just before we continue I need you to affirm these positive affirmations firmly, loudly and with a conviction of St. Paul. Better make things right now than clock 40 with regrets about your youth.

  1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  2. What man can do, I can do better.
  3. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.
  4. I can because I can.
  5. Wealth, health and long life are my portions because God has a purpose for me on this earth.
  6. The Lord is my protector and there is nothing evil that man can do to me in deed and word.

Thank you for being a good student, assuming you followed the above instructions.

I don’t know about you friend, but for me, I chose to define myself rather than be defined.

This is so because who would really purport to know me better than myself. I know how I hate crowds and like to lock myself in a closet!  Not literally haha. Simply put, I know what you do not know about me, so don’t you try to exercise your behavior reading skills on me.

A young man was teased that he is mentally challenged to pursue science subjects in his third form at high school and he fell for it. Sad.

How many of us have fallen to this mediocre, energy-sapping words that demean us only to rediscover ourselves later?

I want you to stand up with me today, champion, and let’s say no to every self-limiting definitions that have been implanted in our lives by the very people who were meant to love, inspire and protect us against any self-limiting beliefs and definitions at a tender age.

No point of getting bitter about them maybe they were as naive as you were about their actions.

You can get remorseful too, I understand, it’s because you broke a soul out there and shattered a dream with your loud mouth and now you have to admit it. “Urrghhh!!  a wretched me”, you say.

Here is what I’m saying, friend.

Nobody can define you but you.

The Merriam Webster definition of define is to determine or identify the essential qualities or meaning of something or somebody e.g whatever defines us as human.

We need to start defining ourselves guys. I need you for a moment to switch off your mind from what your mama, wife, girlfriend, husband, pastor or special other said about you and pick that pen and paper right now. Yes, right now. ” Ooh! am in the heck of nowhere, how do you expect me to pick a pen and paper?”,you ask.

Well, take out your Infinix or whatever smartphone you have and let’s start doing some cracking task here.

Looks simple, stupid and easy right? But no no nooo!!!!! Don’t you dare go that direction because actually, some people have never really defined themselves since they were born.

All they know is that their BFF told them they are strong. Haha, maybe you were being flattered boy!

It is interesting to note that some people have never really defined their person. I mean, who are you? What do you stand for? What are your values or core values? What about your personality? What are your strengths? What about your weaknesses or you have none? I don’t think so. Pastors have weaknesses too but God has used them to touch and bless lives. No point of leaving in denial. Admit it buddy!

What is more baffling is the fact that some have chosen to define themselves by their job positions or profession and that is where it stops. I have no qualms about society calling you by your job title. Dr. Masiafu! Haha..it feels great right?

But you need to take a break and define who you really are friend.  Some have found themselves in awkward positions or rather caught off guard by interview questions that touch on their persona. Who told you only technical questions are asked during interviews?

Using a pen and paper or whatever smart gadget at your disposal, create columns with the above-given entries and write yourself down.

I just started.

Define yourself to be a better you.

Let me know your comments in the comments section below. Simply log in to or open an account at WordPress.com and you will be good to go.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

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Hey there, whether you are a student in college, a newlywed couple or new in town, I guess at one point in life you have been among the people looking for a conducive place to live. After all, when all is said and done, every single one of us usually wants to retreat to a cozy place called home.

Finding a conducive place to live can be an uphill task, more so, when you do not know what factors to consider in choosing the right place to call your home. Allow me to help you break down the factors bit by bit that will put you in a better position to make informed decisions.

To many people that I have talked to, top on the list of their concerns, when choosing a home to live is usually security. Everyone wants to feel safe on the inside and outside and therefore, how safe one feels must be taken care of.

Avoid rentals and flats with no fence (live or wall) and a gate. These are tale-tell signs of a not so safe place where everyone comes and goes. Look for a place that is well fenced with a strong gate that controls the movement of people in and out of the compound. Gates and fences serve to scare away potential burglars and petty thieves who may be up to something fishy.

Depending on your main economic activity during the day, the choice of town you choose to make a home is also important. This is because statistics on crime rate vary in different towns. While some towns may have zero to a small percentage of crime, a few of them could be crime hubs. The company I work for recently shifted its operations to Kakamega town. With such changes in location, it was expected that the company would alert its employees of any new developments.

It is needless to say that security topped the list of their alerts. Kakamega has a higher crime rate as compared to its neighboring town Bungoma.  Therefore, as one looking for the right place to make a home, choose on a town or urban area that your security is guaranteed or something close to that. You do not want to be woken up in the middle of the night with some noises in the kitchen only to find a human hand trying to pick dinner leftovers. Worse still, arriving in an empty home that was once packed with furniture and high-end electronic gadgets.

Secondly, as one looking for a place to live, social amenities such as hospitals, schools, churches and clean drinking water are important to consider. Some flats and rentals go for a long period without water let alone clean drinking water. Such dry spells greatly inconvenience tenants who have to fetch water from far areas. Apartments with tapped water are good but better if supplemented with borehole water in the event of a shortage.

On the other hand, couples with school going children must check on the availability of schools in the place they would want to live. This is important as some areas may not have schools nearby which will force you to either consider taking your children to a boarding school or your kids walking or riding to school over long distances.

A nearby health facility will serve you best than walking or traveling long distances for health services. Death may rob you of a loved one in the event that he or she is suffering from a chronic disease that may require immediate medical attention by a doctor.

How about shopping?  Does your ideal place of residence allow you to shop with ease due to its proximity or you have to wipe a sweat to get to the nearest shopping center? It is sometimes baffling; especially in the rural areas to find out that for one to mill maize, he has to walk more than 5 kilometers to get to a posho mill.

Choosing a place to live should be based on how easier shopping for household items will be to you. A five to twenty-minute ride is better than an hour ride to the market. This will save you a lot of trouble with kitchen stuff.

We usually encounter awkward occurrences sometimes when during cooking you realize a particularly important ingredient is missing. This will definitely force you to rush back to the market. Woe unto you if the market or place to shop is miles away from you. A bad day for you if you have visitors waiting to be served.

In the past, tenants have complained of stinking sewers in their apartments that erode them the joy of eating their deliciously cooked meals. Such incidences usually arise from faulty or blocked sewers that fail to discharge waste matter. A properly built drainage system is a factor to consider when choosing a place to live.

You could do some basic research from tenants already living in the apartments you want to move in to, just to find out whether the drainage system is properly functioning or are you going to wake up in the wee hours of the night to go for a long call simply because there is a blockage with the toilet flushing system and your taps have run dry.

Save yourself the trouble by ensuring that you pick on an apartment that has a good drainage system on the inside and outside. It will not be super to pay good money for a flat that rainwater seeps through the front door during heavy rains.

Recently, I passed by a storied rental apartment and there were an array of clothes spread on the lines for sun drying. When choosing a place to live, have the idea of an outdoor space in mind. Some flats are built facing each other with narrow spacing about 30 meters in between.

This outrightly denies you your privacy and more so, could be a recipe for chaos over petty cases with your idle and prying neighbors. Outdoor spacing is not only important for sun drying your pieces of wet clothing but also gives you space to sunbathe and relax in the environment outside your house.

Outdoor spacing can also be important for family playtime and hosting other functions that may require many people. Besides, tenants with vehicles will also have ample parking space for their fuel guzzling machines.

We have two ears to hear, listen and understand the message being communicated unto us. However, it comes to a point where what you hear and what you need to listen to becomes mixed up, therefore, resulting in noise.

You will realize it is a bad idea renting an apartment near a marketplace with blaring music and noises from traders. Adding insult to injury, a pub nearby plays loud music often, until 5 am in the morning. If you are not a Muslim, there is again no point of living near a mosque if you do not want to be woken up at 5 am every morning because of loud prayers coming from a mosque nearby.

When choosing a place to live, ensure that you go for a quiet neighborhood. A quiet neighborhood will save you sleepless nights resulting from your 5 months old kid waking up often at night because of disturbing noise. Moreover, a quiet neighborhood will allow you to enjoy the comforts in your own home, for example, listening to music from your home theatre, study time or any other indoor activity that may require a quiet environment.

Today, the internet has been branded the next town square.Apparently, this is true given the social media hype we experience today. Kenyans and the world over have never been connected to the internet like now before.

It is true that friendships, jobs, businesses have now shifted to online platforms. It is against this background that you would want to consider choosing a place to live that is well connected to the internet.

It will be worse for you to settle in your new home only to realize that your internet connection is not even 2G phew!!, you will only have yourself to blame.

There are many other factors that one could still consider in choosing a place to live. I have mentioned but just a few basic factors that can serve as a guide to a new home seeker.

A safe and secure environment coupled with rich social amenities, less noise, an outdoor spacing, proper drainage system and a nearby shopping center could be the ideal home for you at the very least. Do not forget about a good internet connection that will save you the time, money and energy of visiting a cyber.

Until later guys!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You just received a call from a prospective employer that you have been shortlisted and therefore scheduled for a job interview. As is expected, mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety get into you as you ponder on the next step of action. Here are a few successful tips that might just give you the job you have been longing for.

Tip 1#: Do a thorough Scrutiny of the Company’s Website

Doing research about the company will give you a mouthful of information about the company’s history, location, its current management, production trends and its competitive advantage. Having such vital information will help identify the gaps in the company besides preparing you with a list of questions that you might want to ask your prospective employer. Quality questions from interview candidates usually score them highly against other candidates who never ask questions.

Tip 2#: Evaluate your Skills against the Job Requirements Needed

Now that you have been shortlisted for an interview, you might want to ignore this important tip. However, before you even think about it, understand that marching your skills against the job requirements will put you in a better position to explain why you are the best option for the company in that particular position. Your skills need not to appear on the job requirements list word by word for you to secure the job. Of more essence is the fact that your skill base will allow you to handle the position before you sufficiently.

Tip 3#: Check your Body Language

Your body language speaks volume even without your tongue. When preparing for an interview, ensure you have enough rest the night before to avoid dangerous yawns in front of the panel members. More so, make sure you eat enough breakfast to hold you up for the day in the event of a face-to-face interview that may well extend into the afternoon.

If you love, your bottle of whiskey better is safe than sorry. Avoid it at all cost on the day before and the interview day.

This will make you fresh of mind, sober and a clear thinker during the interview. Project a confident body language by maintaining eye contact and giving a firm handshake while smiling to your panel members. Lastly, during the interview, sit straight on the chair without slouching or leaning on the table.

Tip 4#: Prepare and Have the Right Outfit for the Interview with you

Most interview outfits are formal with black, brown, blue or white colors. For men, a suit or a well-ironed shirt and trouser with well-polished black shoes will do. Ladies can dress in suits too or official trousers. Still, a decent solid color skirt and blouse will do. Ladies should avoid too much jewelry and makeup that might create unnecessary attention during the interview. Avoid seductive dressing at all cost as this might work against you by portraying you as a disrespectful person to the panelists and the occasion at hand.

Tip 5#:  Rehearse Interview Questions and Answers with a Friend

Overconfidence can be dangerous. You are a perfect match to the job requirements, you know more about the company like the back of your hand and you feel you have what it takes to get the job. However, rehearsing for the job interview could just be the thin line that will make a difference between you and the other qualified candidate. Rehearsing for an interview helps you find answers to common interview questions asked. It will also help you relate your previous work experiences with the job you are trying to win. More importantly, it will help you listen to your own voice thus giving you more confidence.

Tip 6#: Carry Essentials

Like a lawyer carrying documented evidence to court against the defendant, a candidate for an interview also needs to carry with him documents that will prove his or her skills are what they say. Your academic and professional certificates, testimonials and other crucial documents cannot afford to miss in your briefcase or handbag. Remember also to carry a notebook and a pen; you might want to use it to write down important points during the interview. A bottle of water to prevent dry coughs and thirst is also important.

Job interviews usually come and go. Some last for a day and some may take more than one day. The most important thing to remember is that as an individual you have what it takes to pass that particular interview. By the fact that you were shortlisted means that you had a lot of potentials that the other candidates did not have. As such, as a candidate, always maintain the image you project in your application documents, follow the rules, be a good student of life and there! You have your job.

 

 

 

 

 

A friend once wondered that you could be in a room full of people partying with loud music blaring yet feel so bored. Boredom in people can occur in many ways. Even the most jovial individual that you know of occasionally feels bored. Boredom is simply a state of feeling bored. It could occur because of idleness or sheer lack of interest in a particular activity. For you to be able to kill boredom real quick, here is what you should do.

  1. Learn to Enjoy your Own Company

Human beings are social creatures by nature and therefore, as expected will gravitate towards their own kind. However, many make the mistake of sacrificing their own time for unnecessary cliques and gangs. It is interesting to note that some individuals hardly enjoy their own company. They would rather listen to music streaming from a sound system in their friend’s house than sit on their own and listen to the same sound system. It is not about being socially shy but rather cultivating the habit of loving your own space and time. Your own time gives you the opportunity to reflect, meditate, and know more about yourself. If you really learn to love your own company, boredom will be outdated.

  1. Volunteer

For you to be a good volunteer, the word selfish should not be mentioned or be associated with you. Volunteering requires that you offer yourself freely the Jesus style in any given task that you see fit to undertake. Rather than sit bored in a company having a conversation you do not seem to enjoy or follow, you could opt to visit a children’s home and play hide and seek with the kids.  Alternatively, you could do mission work as a Christian and reach out in sharing God’s word and other personal items. Volunteering builds your self-esteem and gives you a feeling of confidence and satisfaction, which serves to make you a better person.

It is interesting to note that some individuals hardly enjoy their own company. They would rather listen to music streaming from a sound system in their friend’s house than sit on their own and listen to the same sound system.

  1. Tour your Hometown

It is amazing that a stranger could visit your hometown, make, and pass by every nook and cranny yet you, the town mayor by default have no idea where the bus station office is located. You could become a local tourist for a day or two and enjoy the taste and feel of the restaurants, recreation parks and resorts within your area instead of listening to strangers talking of services in your hometown you have no idea about. Touring your hometown will not clear your bank account with good financial planning. Just remember to spend wisely and live within your means.

  1. Run through the Family Album

You walk into someone’s home and find 3-4 photographic albums neatly arranged on the shelf or wherever you keep yours. Funny enough, these family albums serve more as decorations and interior designer materials in most homes. On the contrary, they should serve as memories for our great and great-grandchildren to appreciate life and see how far their grandparents have come in terms of their social-economic life. Unfortunately, many of us are deluded by the fact that we have smartphones that can take and backup quality digital photos. How your children will be able to access those photos leaves more questions than answers. Conversely, they will never replace the touch, feel and memories that our traditional photo albums bring. Therefore, for you to break that boredom, why not take a seat right now and run through your family photographic album.

  1. Watch Funny Videos

Do you want to subjugate the mountain of stress prevailing in your mind? Well, you could try watching a funny video. Funny videos aside from killing stress can relieve you of life sucking boredom and idleness. Have a collection of them on your PC or laptop and occasionally go through them whenever you feel bored. They will definitely energize you, lift your spirits and kill your boredom.

  1. Read for Leisure

Get the latest piece of your favorite newspaper and read it like no man’s business. Be it visiting your online or offline book club, your action counts in relieving you of idleness that is a recipe for boredom.Incidentally, stress and boredom go hand in hand and research in the past has proven that reading for leisure reduces your level of stress by a significant percentage.

Indeed, boredom is among many of the bad human emotions that no one wants to feel. As such, it is important that people engage in fulfilling activities that erode every layer of boredom in them. Engaging yourself in a number of constructive activities such as the ones listed is practically helpful in killing boredom.  You do not have to try all of them at once, but pick the ones that suit you best and you will be on your way to a boring-free life.

Add any other way to kill boredom in the comments section below.

Till next time champion!!

 

 

 

Hello guys!

Being a Sunday, I thought it wise to mention this topic to you, why not?

Sunday is the day most people are off from their demanding week day jobs. It is also a day when the faithful have a  chance to worship God and visit one another. More so, some take this time to spend on outings with their loved ones and family.

Indeed, Sunday is a day that comes and is soon gone, however, one can have every fulfilling moment of it.

And so today I have been reflecting on personal growth, self-improvement and today’s sermon about –The Serpent.

If my memory serves me right, I have read very many self-help books and blogs on different topics such as saving, dating and relationships, spirituality and making wealth. On the contrary, my life has changed to a certain degree but not to the level mention in the given blogs and books.

Interestingly, many self-help books and blogs including the one I’m writing on encourage people to be a better version of themselves, be happy, seek after success, break bad habits, be assertive, make money and so forth.

However, today I want to center this discussion on a different perception of life. As much as everyone may want to drive the latest machine in town and carry that sleek sizable smartphone, not all these are a sure guarantee in giving you the happiness you really long for.

On the contrary, I think it is healthy and okay for one to feel low, sad, dejected and miserable once in a while.  It is quite unfortunate that in the 21st-century world of social media and a booming self-help industry, bloggers and writers have perfected the skill of giving people unsolicited advice on how to do this and that.  This may partly work in your life or it may simply have no impact on your life at all.

Furthermore, people have perfected the art of feeling good, being happy and living life to the fullest on social media when in fact,  their true selves are struggling with bills and a myriad of other life issues.

Social media has helped much in boosting the self-help industry song because people would like to show off their success, new shoes, the new smartphone they never heard before or the baby they recently gave birth to.

In contrast, such online  photos only reflect a part of their life story at that paticular moment and it does not necessarily mean the individual in question is always happy.

Self-help writers tell  us never to be sad but always happy, how not to suck and embarass ourselves, how to stop overspending and saving, how to win our Ex-girlfriends and boys back.

On the contrary, I think it would be good for one to live life in moderation without being too hard on themselves with self-help sermons. True change in an  individual usually comes from within and I believe outside sources only serve to catalyze their resolve for change.

In living life to the full, you will trumble and be trumbled upon, laugh  and be laughed at. At times in life we embarass ourselves so badly and the thought of such like incidences only make us more embarrased.

To recap an incidence I once embarrased myself, I am the discipline polite, young man who means no harm to none. And so during one time in college, the lecturer wanting to use students as teaching aid to make the concept of the Human DNA sink deeper summoned three students to the front including myself.

Given a choice, I would be the first one to refuse such a proposition by the lecturer but he would have heard none of that. It so happened that the jeans trouser I had worn that day was a little bit tight on me. This served to create an unusual contour in my fly area.

The front of the class was a little bit raised like a podium and so the 1000-packed classroom could visibly see the front.

Unfortunately for me, the class clown had already spotted an opportunity to break the ice and off he went. Amidst the demonstrations and lecture by the professor, he shouted a funny remark in slang to suggest that I had just had an erection.

The lecturer not wanting to be left out of the moment highlights simply chipped in and made a repitition of the clown’s remarks on a lighter knot which send the class into a mad frenzy of laughter, shouting and ululations. Girls pinched the boys and got  a subject to talk about.

To save myself the embarassment, I joined  the class in the laughter and laughed at myself too. Eventually , the noise dissipated and sooner  the lecture came to its end. The incidence was fast forgotten as it came.

This is exactly how life works. Always shifting between lemons and lemonades periodically. There is always no a continouos state of bliss as self-help books may want to put it or make us believe but a series of ups and lows, the hero and the loser you, in one day you could be a jack-of-all trades and the next day turn out to be a good for nothing bloody vampire.

Therefore, the trick here is to stop being the perfectionist. Stop always having a high expectation of you in everything you do because you can obviously never achieve that. Reserve such expectations for Hollywood movie stars who are made to appear superhuman and perfect in body-shape, movements, speech and everything they do. Once in a while show love and appreciation for the miserable and loser you. Learn to accomodate the sad and bored you by acknowledging that the most jovial and talkative person, once in a while shuts down completly.

Next time you suck or embarass yourself, simply remember that for life to be complete, you need to have  a test of both lemons and lemonades. No movie stars here.

Is there a day you embarrassed yourself and felt the loser for it? Let me know through the comments section below.

Have a fruitful week.


Hello people, first, I must say thank you for your continued love and support towards this blog. It is never easy remaining consistent by writing posts often. However, your likes, comments, and followership have kept me going. Cheers! To every single one of you for being a lovely online family.

Yesterday morning, I uploaded a video on my facebook page about a robot by the name Sofia. Sofia is a robot that can partially perform the functions of a human being. In the video, Sofia is seen smiling and answering questions from a top journalist albeit some awkward moments.

In case you missed the video here is the link  https://www.inc.com/will-yakowicz/sofia-robot-hanson-robotics-web-summit.html

Two centuries ago, landlines were unheard of in our lives, let alone mobile phones. To add insult to injury, if you happened to insinuate on a machine that could fly, you could be met with the most bizarre astonishment.

Yet here today, we are talking about the world of artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence is simply intelligence derived from machines and things that have no life in them. In contrast, natural intelligence is the intelligence found in humans like you and me and some animals.

Such breath-taking inventions never fell down from heaven, they simply began as an idea by somebody who was passionate, determined and focused to make the world a better place.

Sitting in my study, I sought to demystify why one part of the world can have so great inventions with super-rich entrepreneurs while some parts of the world are the exact opposite. Despite there being a number of factors to consider, to me, it all boils down to you as an individual. Who are you and what do you stand for?

Greatness or Mediocrity

Therefore, in a bid to find out why to some people being rich is impossible, and will never happen, I came up with eight points why money has never come your way and how to fix it.

Reason #1: You Hate and Envy the Rich

You all know the statement,”Your network is your net worth”

Lewis Brown, a motivational speaker, said that we are a product of the people we keep close. This he said is possible by the fact that as you walk with them, you subconsciously pick their mannerisms, perceptions, and habits.

I understand Kenya is a country where the gap between the rich and the poor is very wide and continues to widen. In Kenya, corruption is still rife as witnessed in the previous and current regimes. The select few who manage to be part of the system always walke home as instant millionaires.

It is against this background that you may want to hate and envy your rich neighbor. Simply because the rich neighbor flaunts wealth you have no idea where it came from.

However, hating and envying the rich only serves to keep this high net worth individuals away from you. Down the streets or in the villages, the rich are talked of with  envy and admiration in equal measure.  Some look at them as thieves who stole billions of money from the companies they worked for before. Some are said to be in secret societies like the Illuminati and Freemasons. Whatever the opinion you may have about the rich keep it to yourself but the fact remains that they are rich and you do not attract money and wealth into your life by envying, hating, and talking ill of the rich.

Reason #2:  To You, Money is the Root of all Evil

You recently won ksh160, 000 via a Sports betting site. Quite a lot of money with no sweat, right? Well, the truth is always plain and simple- easy come easy go. You will go celebrating and telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about your luck. Unfortunately for you, your eager friends will be more than ready to eat your newfound fortune with you.

Given that you went round showing off to your friends and acquaintances, many will come with a plethora of suggestions on how to do this and that. Ask Abisai about the many suggestions he got on Facebook. All of a sudden, everybody is your adviser. To take the shorter route, the money simply did not add up to give you something tangible. Subsequently, you rant and curse about  money being  evil. It never is because it simply picks the character of the beholder.

In 1 Timothy 4:16, the bible mentions the love of money as the root of all evil. I understand this to mean that your love for money is the root cause of your troubles and not money in itself. You therefore should desist from demonizing money and treasure it as a value worth having.

Reason #3: You Are a Jack-Of-All-Trades

One columnist, on money magazine, once shared tips on risk taking. He asserted that people do not just take risks but calculated risks. By this, he meant to say that great entrepreneurs assess the benefits and production costs or rather the advantages and the disadvantages of a particular project before putting their money or energy into it.

In their assessment, if the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages that is a no go zone. However, if the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, then it becomes a project to consider. You do not make money by being a jack-of-all-trades and master of none.  Simply identify your passion, a place you can add value and get the ball going. Where is your focus? Where do you direct your energy?

Bill Gates, the tech. mogul behind Microsoft Corporation, was one of its co-founders in the year 1975. Back then he, ate drank, sang and slept dreaming about Microsoft. He identified his passion and area of value addition and set the pace right away, revolutionizing the computer world. It is only in the recent past, after having made so much money that he chose to diversify his investments.

First by philanthropy through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Bill also has investments in Republic services, waste management company, Eco-lab (ECL) a company that produces cleaning supplies, 50% stake in Four Seasons Hotel and much more. He is simply finding a place to stash his cash and assets by diversifying his investments.  This he has only done after building Microsoft Corporation to what it is today. Where is your focus? Where do you direct your energy?

Reason #4: You Love Alcohol

Kenyans love for strong drinks cannot be pushed under the carpet just yet. However, many fall short of controlling their thirst for strong drinks. Ultimately, one becomes a slave to binge drinking. End result is irresponsible drinking, family negligence and misuse of money in uncontrolled drinking. Money never comes in such like a lifestyle and might become elusive for eternity. Drinking should be done responsibly in the most courteous manner or to be abstained from altogether.

On the contrary, one might argue the rich also love alcohol. Conversely, the rich drink on their hard-earned cash. They drink in the company of other rich friends in V.I.P. lounges, expensive and exclusive joints. They buy alcohol brands that are out of your price range. It would therefore, be unfortunate or demeaning to compare yourself with them. Have discipline to overcome. Visit a rehab for further guidance and counseling. Avoid alcoholic drinking joints and persons.

Reason #5: Your Love Life is Chaotic

You are known for sending expensive gifts to a bevy of beauties who have no qualms about sharing you with the other women you have. Surprisingly, you also pay their food and rent. It is important to understand that millionaires never grew into who they are by dating many women. They directed all their energy towards looking for wealth with one supportive woman by their side. With regard to matters of the heart, it is important for you to be discipline by avoiding overspending in a chaotic love life with many women. What defines your core values when it comes to dating? The mpango wa kando phrase is now the household name in town with unfaithful spouses blindly sinking into it. It has been proven that money never comes with a string of women to maintain, since your hard-earned cash goes into paying their monthly bills and other utilities. A number of women are also on the spot for moving with different men commonly known as sponsors. Unfortunately, for them, most of these sponsors are married men with families to maintain. You do not succeed by wrecking up someone’s else marriage. Redefine your love and social values.

Reason #6: You think you are the manager of the Universe

There are limits to how far you can go and how much you can do. In Luke 6:38, it is written that, “give and it shall be given unto you..”  The question to ask is, how far is far? Bill Gates, the world richest according to Forbes magazine has a net worth of US$90 million. Despite his vast wealth, he cannot buy the world even if he wanted to.

It is always good and generous to help  someone out who might be financially stranded. However, when you are bent to help everybody who comes begging, you might find yourself with nothing left to meet your financial obligations. Millionaires are known to give for a certain course or charity. You will find them taking part in philanthropic activities such as building classrooms, drilling boreholes in water scarce areas or buying mosquito nets for the prevention of Malaria.

On the contrary, you will not find them dishing out money to every boy, girl or woman who comes knocking. In their quest to get wealth, they have been blackmailed, swindled, conned and gone broke severally and know better than to give their hard-earned cash to everybody. Christ’s mission on earth was to seek and save the lost. He offered his life as a ransom for all. You are a human with limits and therefore cannot offer yourself financially to all. Give sparingly, take sparingly.

Reason #7: You simply do not want to be rich  

You shy away from conversations about money and wealth. You have a collection of fictional books and movie thrillers but can hardly read one page of a financial  newspaper or Bible (Ask TD Jakes). You watch TV and movies 10 hours running. You are waiting for that big break to fall from the heavens yet you are doing nothing with your hands. You have no bank account and if you have one, you do not know the account number. You hardly collect assets but liabilities that drain you of your hard-earned cash.

More so, you talk about enjoying life here and now and wonder why people are trying hard to save and invest. You are in a cyclone of debts and find it normal, saying life is hard. You have a University degree, nice family and a lovely wife and  say that is all that matters. You know the big guys in town who call the shots and think your proximity to them makes you rich, nothing could be further from the truth. You hardly give or donate but only take.

Furthermore, when you get good money after a long dry spell, all you think is upgrading your wardrobe with new clothing and shoes, partying with friends and buying the latest gadget in town. You let people play with your ego, telling you how rich you look so that they get something from you, yet in real sense you are struggling with debts. You sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 9 am.You have no a daily to-do list. You are ever on social media accounts including Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, Twitter, Instagram, snap chat as late as 2 am.

In addition, you are never grateful for the small favors, blessings, milestones you earn or get but rant and complain about everything. You fear success and do not want to appear to be doing better than your friends or common folk. You are waiting to be married by a rich man or marry a rich woman. You hang around broke people and call those who have made it proud yet, you have never approached them for financial advice or help in the first place.

Life is short and there is no point in making it any shorter by living it with full of financial challenges. Some mistakes are silly and painfully costly. Learn from the rich men and women who have made it and try as much as possible to implement every single idea they tell you. I am trying myself. Life is neither hard nor easy depending on what you choose to do and ascribe yourself too. Be open-minded and have access to the limitless possibilities life has to offer through great ideas and people. My desire is that the words written here will transform your life today and make you a better person tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.

Let me know your thoughts, through the comments section below.

 

 

 

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Image credit: www. pixabay.com

Last week on Wednesday, I was privileged to be part of an invite-only birthday party for my next of kin. However, those invited were given room for one or two friends. It was an evening birthday party held in one of the most exclusive hotel in my hometown.

So on my way out, I passed by one of my friend’s house by the name Larry. Ironically, Larry had many work assignments to do but alinishow hana form. I took advantage of his quagmire and asked him to accompany me to the birthday party. We arrived earlier than expected. Not being used to these five-star hotels, we walked in through the front door with our eyes asking for permission from the front door guard. A hall had been booked on the fourth floor for the birthday event. On entering, we found a bunch of ladies and gentleman chitchatting and giggling in one section of the hall. After a few pleasantries, with my friend Larry tagging along, we took our seats by the window overlooking the Eldoret-Malaba highway.

Sooner than later, a short, dark-skinned and plump young man walked in dressed in a white shirt, blue trouser, black leather shoes and a marching bow tie. He walked past the group of people in front of our table and went straight to the left corner of the hall. After taking a seat, he inaudibly signaled the waiter who came running like a presidential escort guard. From where I was seated, I could hear the him ordering for one glass of mango juice. The waiter, a direct contrast of his customer in shape and height, disappeared into a door leading to another room –should be the kitchen and came out carrying a glass of fresh orange juice and served the young man without any explanation. Well, do not get me wrong, I said orange juice. However, not his order, the young man seated, happily drank the juice without much ado.

Many are the times we express non-assertive behavior in our lives, therefore hurt ourselves in the process, and end up not getting what we want. Non-assertive behaviour is expressed when an individual chooses not to be open with his or her  feelings opting instead to be indirect and emotionally dishonest. An example of non-assertive behaviour is when someone tells you they are okey but that is not what their face expression says. Alternatively, someone could be telling you a sad story while smiling leaving his or her listeners confused on how to respond. Individuals expressing non-assertive behaviour usually get angry with themselves when they fail to get what they want by letting people choose for them. In other words, non-assertiveness is simply being passive. One ends being a doormat to many people. Such people usually free ride on the excuse that they are for peace and do not want confrontation in situations they have different opinions or do not want to express themselves openly.

Here are top 3 tips to Overcome Non-assertive Behaviour.

Tip 1#: Stop Shying

Shyness is a perfect companion for non-assertive behaviour. There is only one sure-fire way to overcome shyness. Reading articles on sites such as wikihow is good but it will not help you much if you do not take a personal initiative and break out of your comfort zone. Breaking out of your comfort zone means getting out of your anti-social closet by interacting more with people in situations you feel shy. Normally, whenever someone is in a situation that he or she feels shy, his or her first instinct is usually to stay quiet or leave the social setting.

However, for you to overcome, take a bold step and do the exact opposite by staying in situations you feel shy and try to speak up. As the old saying goes-practice makes perfect. Eventually you will master the courage to start up conversations and follow them through in front of people. Your newfound self-confidence will make you an assertive person.

Tip 2#: Stop Minding the Opinion of Others

When you start to be more concerned with the opinion of others than your own, you set the pace for pleasing people and becoming a doormat. Opinions are simply views or judgements over something. Opinions are not necessarily based on facts or knowledge but hearsay and partial truths. Always stand up and make your voice heard, regardless of what others will say about your newfound confidence. Some situations will require taking a certain action such as when your self-esteem is being attacked. It demands that you speak up against your would be enemies. Turn the negatives thrown at you into positives by always disowning the negatives. For instance, if someone tells you, “you will die poor”, tell them you do not believe them or ask them what makes them say so. In most cases, they will shut up or change topic. Stop minding about the opinion of others by getting into the habit of doing something extraordinary out of your normal demeanour. It could be changing the way you express yourself by speaking slowly and clearly. In being assertive the tone of your matters greatly. A timid,shaky voice does not portray assertiveness.

Tip 3#: Project a Confident Body Language

Besides word of mouth, our bodies can also communicate without uttering a single word. By looking at one’s body language, one can easily tell someone feelings on the inside. Most people will always look down whenever they are experiencing bad feelings. Interestingly, quite a number of people project this body language even when they are not experiencing bad feelings. Looking down when walking never projects a confident, outgoing body language. When walking, always ensure your head is held up high with your shoulders falling back. Avoid looking down when meeting people; rather look sideways than look down.

Learn to maintain eye contact when addressing or talking to people. Looking sideways and fidgeting never portrays a confident, assertive body language. One might say the elderly will consider this rude. I think it depends with where you come from. If that is the case, you can maintain eye contact when starting to speak or simply look at the nose bridge -hahaha and move your eyes to a particular spot when finishing your sentence. Oscillate between the listener’s nose bridge and your chosen spot until the conversation is over. Avoid anti-social body language such as walking or seating with crossed arms, speaking with hands over your mouth or face. An assertive body language commands respect and attention from your listeners and promotes resourceful social interactions. More so, it will help you overcome non-assertive behaviour.

Overcoming non-assertive behaviour is possible even to the most passive person out there. It calls for faith, practice and persistence on your part. Changes might not occur immediately,  but with time, you might run for a parliamentary seat in your constituency. Practice on the above mentioned tips daily without fail by getting out and interacting with mothers, fathers, your brothers and sisters in the society. Stop always minding about the opinion of others, only mind about what God saying about you. Opinions simply remain to be opinions. Finally, allow your body language to project self-confidence and not timidity.

Just so you know, the  birthday party was the best of its kind!

 

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Image credit:www.pixabay.com

A bad habit is like a shackle in your life. It can be very easy to acquire but very hard to let go. If you want to break a bad habit, here are seven tips that can be helpful.

  1. Stay Away from the Triggers

A bad habit does not just come about. A number of factors in your life could trigger it. For instance, sex addiction could come from too much exposure to sexual content in movies and watching pornography. Relentlessly discipline yourself to avoid the triggers at all cost. Read more about triggers here 

  1. Delay the Urge

Over time, a bad habit in a person’s life becomes second nature. It is like a reflex action. However, you can train yourself to delay the urge and think about what you are about to do. This act will slowly and gradually dissipate the urge to commit the bad act.

  1. Stay Consistent Day in Day out

Breaking a bad habit requires consistency on your part. You may find yourself smoking that piece of cigarette that you had made a vow never to smoke again. Don’t you get discouraged, stand up, dust yourself and remain true to the goal of breaking the bad habit. Consistency requires that you discipline yourself accordingly by totally avoiding the habit for at least three weeks.

  1. Withstand the Discomfort in the Process of Breaking Free

It is very hard! No need of lying to you. Breaking a bad habit has never been easy and will never be. A lot of discomfort usually accompanies the period of breaking free. This calls for patience and persistence on your part. Press past the discomfort with faith.

  1. Have an Alternative Behaviour

If you are used to checking your smart phone every 5 minutes even while  at your workplace, you could choose to keep the smart phone out of reach for a while until you are able to complete your work. Having an alternative action to a bad habit helps you substitute the bad habit with a good habit eventually breaking free from the bad habit.

  1. Have a Friend Who Can Hold you Accountable

Many people who want to break a bad habit always make a promise to never partake of the habit again. However, they fail to anticipate the opposite outcome and whenever they slip and fall back into the bad habit; they hate themselves for it and resolve they cannot change. People suffering from a bad habit should avoid being perfectionists and embrace the fact that they are humans who are bound to fail. It is therefore necessary to have an accountability partner who will hold you accountable for your actions and cheer you up in the run to freedom.

  1. Set a SMART Goal to Breaking Your Bad Habit

SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-based. For instance, you could be struggling with the habit of masturbation. You then find out that one of the triggers to masturbation is reading pornographic literature. To break the habit, it calls for setting SMART goals. You could give yourself three weeks and resolve to avoid all the triggers to the habit such as movies, pornographic content. Rather watch comedies than movies that have sexual connotations in them. The goal in itself is SMART and it will give you the impetus to soldier on.

If a person is enslaved by a bad habit, he alone has the key to break it.  Without personal discipline, consistency and faith your desire to freedom might not be realized. Be happy because many have broken free and you will break free too.

 

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I have occasionally attended youth retreats for schools, churches and colleges and whenever the topic of dating comes up, there is usually a wave of excitement that fills the air. Why this topic creates a lot of excitement in young men and women beats understanding. Interestingly, I realize that there are three key things that can greatly make people excited and curious. These things are namely: food, love and money. You will agree with me that I am 100% damn right on this.

It is important for youths to understand that dating involves matters of the heart and that they shall approach it with uttermost respect and the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, very few would care to learn about the fundamentals of dating. Conversely, they will learn about dating through a hands on approach. Do not get me wrong; I am not being judgmental. Besides experimenting with dating, they will also pick one or two clues from romantic movies and make them a reality. However, it is better to make things right in the first place than be sorry later.

Let us get to the core of things by talking more about dating. Dating is defined as a consistent appointment between two people of the opposite sex (though am meant to understand that there is dating of same sex nowadays) with the intention of knowing more about each other by assessing each other’s suitability for marriage. That said, note that there are two types of dating namely:

  • One on One Dating and
  • Group dating

One on one dating involves two single people going out on a date and spending time together to know more about each other. On the other hand, group dating involves a clique of single men, women organizing, and going out on a date with the aim of forming ties for a romantic relationship that will lead to marriage.

Definitions aside, problems begin when Jacob, a church choir member is seeing both Nancy and Mercy. Oooh My! You do not want to be the caught up in that mess. It feels heroic when Jacob knows that he can comfortably oscillate between two women. However, trouble begins when one day Nancy picks up Jacob’s phone. Incidentally, a message pops into the text box from a contact saved us msee wa makaa (charcoal seller). I see no problem in that. Everything is perfectly fine until when Nancy is tempted to scroll  the phone and open the text box. Wololo! I am not a Maraga but I can tell you freely that this is going to be a tough petition to be heard by I do not know whom. The content of the text message reads like “Bae unafanya? Nakufeel tu sana…”  (what are you upto baby?..feeling you so much)

Such like the above scenario are common to many reading this post. A majority of young men and women can relate to the story with laughter-filled mouths, probably because they heard about it somewhere or they were the villain themselves,breaking somebody’s heart in the process.  .

We need to understand that when it comes to dating, there are three groups of daters.

  • Never Daters

They are hardly seen with women and they do not date at all.

  • Ever Daters

They are always dating with different women at different times. You will never hear of them being single but go through break ups occasionally.

  • Healthy Daters

They date one partner at a particular period.

Most importantly, let us accept the fact that marriage was created and ordained by God. As such, God will only approve a relationship that gives glory and honour unto him. Unfortunately, some youths I know of have trivialized the bible as an archaic book that has no moral authority to dictate to them how they should live. Sadly, they have made movie stars (superficial characters that do not live the life they portray on television) their heroes. This is not to say that movie stars are bad people. In the mean time, click here for successful tips on dating.

This post is a dedication to all the single young men and women hoping to date someday.

Kindly read, share and leave a comment. You might bless a soul somewhere.

 

                                                                                     

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We live in the age of information. Gone are the days when you had to look for an encyclopedia or visit a public library to get knowledge about anything. It is said that information is power, and indeed, it is. Search engines such as Google have made accessing information on any subject easier. Despite the technological milestones we have made in terms of getting access to information, there is the danger of accessing information that has been contorted to serve other interests or simply misinform. Read on to know about the misconceptions that teenagers have about God.

Jesus your Boyfriend

God is the creator, king and therefore must be revered as such, however, teenagers equate God to many things. In one of the commonly held youth seminars, a young woman when asked about whether she was dating or engaged, she responded by saying she was married to Christ. Jesus Christ is given many attributes in the bible among them the prince of peace, the lion of the tribe of Judah, Messiah, beloved son of God, King. No place is Christ mentioned as a spouse or boyfriend to anyone. The furthest the bible goes is to depict Christ as a bridegroom who will come for his bride the true church in the last days. Therefore, it is inappropriate to bring down your savior and Lord to the level of your boyfriend or special other.

The Millionaire Jesus

This statement is mistakenly used to portray Jesus Christ as having it all. A preacher, with no ill intentions could innocently use these words to illustrate to teenagers how rich they are in Christ. After all, the bible mentions that the whole world and everything in it belongs to God. However, teenagers might interpret this statement differently and acknowledge Jesus Christ as a millionaire rich in gold, jewelry and worldly treasures and not Jesus as their saviour. In John 3:16, the bible mentions that whoever believes in Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Christ sole mission on earth was to seek and save the lost and that is where it stops. The bible talks of Christ as a humble human being who had no means of financing his ministry. He carried out his ministry on earth with 12 numbered disciples and a host of many others including women who provided for them.

God the father, the son and Holy Spirit cannot be classified with human classifications of billionaire, millionaire or zillionaire. He is the alpha and omega, the maker of heaven and earth who out of love for humanity sent his only begotten son to redeem them from their sins.

The Cool Jesus

Teenagers use the word cool to mean they are enjoying life and living it to the fullest. It could also be used to mean they are trendy and classy in terms of fashion and the clothes they adorn. Unfortunately, the word cool is being used inappropriately with reference to Jesus Christ. Communication is no excuse. Words written in the bible should be mentioned as they are without any creativity to avoid deception and heresies.

Mere words presented before people without their original meaning and expression lead to more confusion and misinterpretation of the scriptures in the bible. It is true that slang words have really grown especially as a way of communication among the youth, however, for the gospel to make sense and change the lives of people, it must be presented as it was originally written in Hebrew and translated into English.

Jesus the Carpenter’s Son

The bible records that Jesus Christ had an earthly father by the name Joseph. Joseph was skilled in carpentry, a skill Christ might have tried too. The bible records that not everything done by Christ has records in the bible. There is no problem in knowing Jesus as a carpenter’s son. The problem is relating to him as the son of a carpenter other than your savior.

A hit song once filled the airwaves with the Swahili words umesamehewa na fundi wa mbao. Within no time, youths began dancing to the song in churches and concerts. We are products of what we listen to overtime. While the singer to the song might have wanted to be creative and appeal to the youth, he missed the point in presenting Christ as a carpenter who saves. Youths and more so teenagers are to be careful about songs presented by the contemporary gospel industry. A number of their lyrics are unbiblical and used out of context.

It is important that teenagers recognize God and the trinity as the bible presents him and not in misinformed ideologies. Every bible believing Christian should watch against heresies and defend the word of God for what it is.