A bad habit is like a shackle in your life. It can be very easy to acquire but very hard to let go. If you want to break a bad habit, here are seven tips that can be helpful.
- Stay Away from the Triggers
A bad habit does not just come about. A number of factors in your life could trigger it. For instance, sex addiction could come from too much exposure to sexual content in movies and watching pornography. Relentlessly discipline yourself to avoid the triggers at all cost. Read more about triggers here
- Delay the Urge
Over time, a bad habit in a person’s life becomes second nature. It is like a reflex action. However, you can train yourself to delay the urge and think about what you are about to do. This act will slowly and gradually dissipate the urge to commit the bad act.
- Stay Consistent Day in Day out
Breaking a bad habit requires consistency on your part. You may find yourself smoking that piece of cigarette that you had made a vow never to smoke again. Don’t you get discouraged, stand up, dust yourself and remain true to the goal of breaking the bad habit. Consistency requires that you discipline yourself accordingly by totally avoiding the habit for at least three weeks.
- Withstand the Discomfort in the Process of Breaking Free
It is very hard! No need of lying to you. Breaking a bad habit has never been easy and will never be. A lot of discomfort usually accompanies the period of breaking free. This calls for patience and persistence on your part. Press past the discomfort with faith.
- Have an Alternative Behaviour
If you are used to checking your smart phone every 5 minutes even while at your workplace, you could choose to keep the smart phone out of reach for a while until you are able to complete your work. Having an alternative action to a bad habit helps you substitute the bad habit with a good habit eventually breaking free from the bad habit.
- Have a Friend Who Can Hold you Accountable
Many people who want to break a bad habit always make a promise to never partake of the habit again. However, they fail to anticipate the opposite outcome and whenever they slip and fall back into the bad habit; they hate themselves for it and resolve they cannot change. People suffering from a bad habit should avoid being perfectionists and embrace the fact that they are humans who are bound to fail. It is therefore necessary to have an accountability partner who will hold you accountable for your actions and cheer you up in the run to freedom.
- Set a SMART Goal to Breaking Your Bad Habit
SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-based. For instance, you could be struggling with the habit of masturbation. You then find out that one of the triggers to masturbation is reading pornographic literature. To break the habit, it calls for setting SMART goals. You could give yourself three weeks and resolve to avoid all the triggers to the habit such as movies, pornographic content. Rather watch comedies than movies that have sexual connotations in them. The goal in itself is SMART and it will give you the impetus to soldier on.
If a person is enslaved by a bad habit, he alone has the key to break it. Without personal discipline, consistency and faith your desire to freedom might not be realized. Be happy because many have broken free and you will break free too.
I have occasionally attended youth retreats for schools, churches and colleges and whenever the topic of dating comes up, there is usually a wave of excitement that fills the air. Why this topic creates a lot of excitement in young men and women beats understanding. Interestingly, I realize that there are three key things that can greatly make people excited and curious. These things are namely: food, love and money. You will agree with me that I am 100% damn right on this.
It is important for youths to understand that dating involves matters of the heart and that they shall approach it with uttermost respect and the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, very few would care to learn about the fundamentals of dating. Conversely, they will learn about dating through a hands on approach. Do not get me wrong; I am not being judgmental. Besides experimenting with dating, they will also pick one or two clues from romantic movies and make them a reality. However, it is better to make things right in the first place than be sorry later.
Let us get to the core of things by talking more about dating. Dating is defined as a consistent appointment between two people of the opposite sex (though am meant to understand that there is dating of same sex nowadays) with the intention of knowing more about each other by assessing each other’s suitability for marriage. That said, note that there are two types of dating namely:
- One on One Dating and
- Group dating
One on one dating involves two single people going out on a date and spending time together to know more about each other. On the other hand, group dating involves a clique of single men, women organizing, and going out on a date with the aim of forming ties for a romantic relationship that will lead to marriage.
Definitions aside, problems begin when Jacob, a church choir member is seeing both Nancy and Mercy. Oooh My! You do not want to be the caught up in that mess. It feels heroic when Jacob knows that he can comfortably oscillate between two women. However, trouble begins when one day Nancy picks up Jacob’s phone. Incidentally, a message pops into the text box from a contact saved us msee wa makaa (charcoal seller). I see no problem in that. Everything is perfectly fine until when Nancy is tempted to scroll the phone and open the text box. Wololo! I am not a Maraga but I can tell you freely that this is going to be a tough petition to be heard by I do not know whom. The content of the text message reads like “Bae unafanya? Nakufeel tu sana…” (what are you upto baby?..feeling you so much)
Such like the above scenario are common to many reading this post. A majority of young men and women can relate to the story with laughter-filled mouths, probably because they heard about it somewhere or they were the villain themselves,breaking somebody’s heart in the process. .
We need to understand that when it comes to dating, there are three groups of daters.
- Never Daters
They are hardly seen with women and they do not date at all.
- Ever Daters
They are always dating with different women at different times. You will never hear of them being single but go through break ups occasionally.
- Healthy Daters
They date one partner at a particular period.
Most importantly, let us accept the fact that marriage was created and ordained by God. As such, God will only approve a relationship that gives glory and honour unto him. Unfortunately, some youths I know of have trivialized the bible as an archaic book that has no moral authority to dictate to them how they should live. Sadly, they have made movie stars (superficial characters that do not live the life they portray on television) their heroes. This is not to say that movie stars are bad people. In the mean time, click here for successful tips on dating.
This post is a dedication to all the single young men and women hoping to date someday.
Kindly read, share and leave a comment. You might bless a soul somewhere.
We live in the age of information. Gone are the days when you had to look for an encyclopedia or visit a public library to get knowledge about anything. It is said that information is power, and indeed, it is. Search engines such as Google have made accessing information on any subject easier. Despite the technological milestones we have made in terms of getting access to information, there is the danger of accessing information that has been contorted to serve other interests or simply misinform. Read on to know about the misconceptions that teenagers have about God.
Jesus your Boyfriend
God is the creator, king and therefore must be revered as such, however, teenagers equate God to many things. In one of the commonly held youth seminars, a young woman when asked about whether she was dating or engaged, she responded by saying she was married to Christ. Jesus Christ is given many attributes in the bible among them the prince of peace, the lion of the tribe of Judah, Messiah, beloved son of God, King. No place is Christ mentioned as a spouse or boyfriend to anyone. The furthest the bible goes is to depict Christ as a bridegroom who will come for his bride the true church in the last days. Therefore, it is inappropriate to bring down your savior and Lord to the level of your boyfriend or special other.
The Millionaire Jesus
This statement is mistakenly used to portray Jesus Christ as having it all. A preacher, with no ill intentions could innocently use these words to illustrate to teenagers how rich they are in Christ. After all, the bible mentions that the whole world and everything in it belongs to God. However, teenagers might interpret this statement differently and acknowledge Jesus Christ as a millionaire rich in gold, jewelry and worldly treasures and not Jesus as their saviour. In John 3:16, the bible mentions that whoever believes in Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life.
Christ sole mission on earth was to seek and save the lost and that is where it stops. The bible talks of Christ as a humble human being who had no means of financing his ministry. He carried out his ministry on earth with 12 numbered disciples and a host of many others including women who provided for them.
God the father, the son and Holy Spirit cannot be classified with human classifications of billionaire, millionaire or zillionaire. He is the alpha and omega, the maker of heaven and earth who out of love for humanity sent his only begotten son to redeem them from their sins.
The Cool Jesus
Teenagers use the word cool to mean they are enjoying life and living it to the fullest. It could also be used to mean they are trendy and classy in terms of fashion and the clothes they adorn. Unfortunately, the word cool is being used inappropriately with reference to Jesus Christ. Communication is no excuse. Words written in the bible should be mentioned as they are without any creativity to avoid deception and heresies.
Mere words presented before people without their original meaning and expression lead to more confusion and misinterpretation of the scriptures in the bible. It is true that slang words have really grown especially as a way of communication among the youth, however, for the gospel to make sense and change the lives of people, it must be presented as it was originally written in Hebrew and translated into English.
Jesus the Carpenter’s Son
The bible records that Jesus Christ had an earthly father by the name Joseph. Joseph was skilled in carpentry, a skill Christ might have tried too. The bible records that not everything done by Christ has records in the bible. There is no problem in knowing Jesus as a carpenter’s son. The problem is relating to him as the son of a carpenter other than your savior.
A hit song once filled the airwaves with the Swahili words umesamehewa na fundi wa mbao. Within no time, youths began dancing to the song in churches and concerts. We are products of what we listen to overtime. While the singer to the song might have wanted to be creative and appeal to the youth, he missed the point in presenting Christ as a carpenter who saves. Youths and more so teenagers are to be careful about songs presented by the contemporary gospel industry. A number of their lyrics are unbiblical and used out of context.
It is important that teenagers recognize God and the trinity as the bible presents him and not in misinformed ideologies. Every bible believing Christian should watch against heresies and defend the word of God for what it is.
Sex is a virtue that is given by God. The urge of sex in itself is part of God’s creation in not only humanity but animals too. Interestingly, rampant and casual sex is on the rise. In the 21st century, gay and lesbian groups have emerged very courageously in defense of their members who have a different sexual orientation to what is considered normal. This subject has raised a lot of debate in churches, with some churches allowing same sex marriages while others opposing to it. Sex is holy and youths are to learn that they have to give it respect and make it sacred. If you want to know why sex has become common and not sacred, as it should be, here are reasons why.
- Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is real and with us to stay. Listening to the youth talk about sex makes you wonder what morals they have. A boy in a group of his age mates will openly brag about his sexual escapades with a girl they know of. He will animatedly describe the drama to his eager to listen friends. Being in such company makes you vulnerable to their influence. Your continuous presence in their company makes you become like them even though you do not want to. Girls on the hand will praise you in their small talk on how good you are in bed. To her friends listening, this only serves to create a hunger and a longing for a taste of the same pie.
- Pursuit for Money
Money is everything, it is good, prestigious and worth having it. However, the pursuit of money has created more problems than options in peoples’ lives. The rising incidences of casual sex in people also occurs due to them chasing after money. A young woman with no job or source of income would rather join her clique of friends who are selling off their bodies for money. Having a source of income is good but when done with morals. You would rather work as a house cleaner than sell off your body.
On the same knot, a young man with no form of employment would rather feed, earn and be put up by a sugar mummy in exchange for his sexual services. They care less about the sacredness of sex with the pretext that the end justifies the means. A young woman in university living in a bed-sitter house would rather invite men to her house to feed and pay rent for her in return for sexual favours. This is not to say that all women living alone in a bed-sitter are immoral. Stereotypes can be dangerous as well.
The search for job can also be grueling and energy-sapping. It is hard not to give up when all your applications are rejected and your would-be employer sends you a regret email. If one is desperate enough for the job, they will bow down to anything including giving their bodies for the job.
- Permissiveness in the Society
Recently, a friend went to visit a voluntary counseling and testing centre (VCT) to know about his health status. Luckily, for him, tests done proved him HIV negative. On being asked whether he is married, he gave a negative response. On being asked whether he had sex before, he also gave a negative response. Interestingly, the people present were shocked that a man at his age was single and a virgin. True enough, society has become permissive by making normal what is considered sacred and holy, avoiding checks and balances in parenting by giving kids a lot of freedom or simply burying its head in the sand. It is no longer a surprise when one has a child out of wedlock but it becomes a big surprise when one is still a virgin at 30.
- Your Classy Smart Phone
Gone are the days when one would visit a cyber café to check their facebook or twitter account thanks to smart phones. As it is said, the current generation is chattier than ever. All your social media accounts namely Whatsapp, Instagram, Snapchat among others have been wrapped nicely into your one large smart phone. It is only a doctor who can tell what will happen to peoples back necks if they continue bending their necks to their smart phones daily for a chat for the next three years.
A smart phone is good and it feels nice having one. It saves you a lot of trouble in sending emails, doing online shopping, editing documents, taking quality pictures and a flurry of other activities. Your smart phone also serve as a knowledge bank with all the kind of information you need a Google click away. Despite its benefits, smart phones can waste your quality time with family, spouse or special other with unnecessary chats. This chats also come with a lot of social garbage and propaganda embedded in them, some of which are immoral and vulgar. Attached files of videos, images and even documents can carry a lot of profanity or immoral stuff that can suffocate your moral values with time and make you a prey to sexual immorality.
Movies are meant for entertainment. They are good because for a moment, they make you break away from reality and enjoy the fantasy world. Apart from entertainment, movies are inspiring, motivational, informative, and educative. There is a quote that says for all the riddles and puzzles in life, you can solve them by watching movies.
However, when you watch movies for a long time especially the genre of drama, action and thrillers you will realize three main themes that usually stand out. These themes include rebellion, sex, divorce and to some extent money. At times, they are subtly embedded into the movies and one cannot help but watch them. A young man once said that sex appears cool in movies. Unfortunately, for him, that is not what he might experience in real life. Clearly, too much of something is poisonous. When you are exposed to too much of sexual content, your morals and values are subconsciously affected. Movies are powerful and they can change your life for the better or worse.
God created sex for both procreation and pleasure. However, if mishandled, it can lead to many physical and emotional wounds that might take forever to heal. You should keep sex sacred by harnessing it or transmuting it to other channels such as a gym workout or getting busy in a constructive activity. Remain true to the call to keep sex holy.
Dear Reader, I hope your day is fairing on well and you are fine in the Lord.
Remember it is an election day, to those in Kenya.I wish every single one of you peaceful elections in whichever region or part of the country you are
Lets preach PEACE! PEACE! PEACE!
I just cast my vote by 9:00 A.M and my hope is that peace prevails even as we wait the final tallying of results.
Aside from the elections update I know you are ready and eager to know about the one ignored secret to riches.
Well, here is the interesting thing about the secret; it is found in the bible and not in self-improvement or investment best-sellers.
I am not going to teach you on how to select the best stocks that will give you profits on your investment or how to invest in real estate where the super rich in Kenya and the world over store their wealth nor do an analysis to recommend process changes on your business. I am here to inform you that God loves you unconditionally and wants the best in life for you (Jeremiah 29:11).
Given the assurance that he wants the best in life for you, it is important for you to note that he wants you to make money and a lot of it in a Godly manner. We are aware that Kenya is a Christian nation with a small percentage of its citizens being Muslims. Actually, many are Christians because they are born of Christian parents and thus were given Christian names. Subsequently, in the 8.4.4 education system in Kenya, they studied Christian Religious Education and therefore identify more with the Bible than the Quran.
Nevertheless, the same bible we associate ourselves with much,has outlined the commandments and God’s will on true Christian living of which most of us have fallen short of or simply ignored. In such a case, the bible still presents God, as a God of mercy, forgiveness and a second chance. Case in point, one needs to look at the corruption levels in government, extra –judicial killings that were long forgotten, lack of integrity in leadership, rogue men of the cloak and the tribalism menace threatening to tear down our national unity and cohesion. These points to a Christian nation that has simply chosen not to depict the very image of God.
It is because of such social and economic ills that many (true Christians included) have been forced and conditioned to believe that real wealth can never be obtained legally. Listening to a conversation among the young population, one would be surprised to learn that they believe for one to be super rich or wealthy in Kenya, crooked means of making money have to be employed. Such crooked means include corruption as done by some senior officials in civil service, stealing from your employer, killing for wealth, shady deals by who is who in government , evasion of taxes, importing of contraband and smuggling of goods, drug trafficking and many more.
Therefore, moneymaking has been associated with corruption and shady deals that do not meet the eye. As such, pastors and Christians have always been perceived to be poor and living in abject poverty, no wonder the phrase as poor as a church mouse.
This makes me think that early Christians made themselves comfortable with the perceived notion of poverty upon them taking consolation as followers of Christ suffering for his names ‘sake with regard to wealth. To the best of my biblical knowledge, it has never been God’s will for a Christian to live in abject poverty or lack material possessions. In fact, after the sufferings of Christ glory follows. (1 Peter 1:10-11) This is because, as it is simply written He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities (even of our ancestors), the chastisement of peace was upon him and his strips heal us (Isaiah 53:5). Christ conquered all our sufferings stemming even from generational curses and said at the cross it is finished (John 19:30). With this knowledge in mind, one needs not to walk or perceive Christianity as lacking and suffering but rather victorious in every sphere including wealth creation.
Certainly, a Christian living in the 21st century should be fully aware that God wants them to make wealth legally and not follow the world in acquiring material wealth without God (Proverbs 10:22). When Jesus Christ faced the tempter after fasting for 40 days and nights, the tempter mentioned to him that all the kingdoms of the world would be his (Christ) if he bowed down and worshipped him (devil).However Christ replied and told the devil that you shall worship the Lord your God and serve him only (Luke 4:5-8) . My fellow good people, there is no other secret to wealth that has ever been ignored that the one found in scriptures above. The devil was ready to give Christ all the kingdoms of the world if he could only bow down and worship him. How much do you think the Lord would give to you that real wealth if you bow down and worship him in truth and in spirit and not as your ancestors worshipped? (John 4:21-24)
Many have bowed down to the devil and have been given a lot of wealth and fame as a result albeit the ungodly way, however, true Christianity demands that one does not lose his own soul in pursuit of wealth and material possessions (Proverbs 30:8-9) .
More so, Christians should worship in truth without pretence and not pretend to be well and good before God when their souls are in a terrible state. They should be true to the brethren and God.
Lastly, God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit.
Finally, Christians are commanded to serve God.
In conclusion, God wants to bless us with real wealth but on certain conditions. I do not know what your interpretation of these scriptures is but to the best of my understanding a personal relationship with God through worship and service will certainly guarantee a Christian real wealth. Watch this video for more insights.
Yesterday, I slept quite late after overworking myself mercilessly with advanced excel formulas. Well, I hit the pass mark for the course anyway so I slept soundly like a well-fed cat. It is 2 years down the line since most of my peers and I finished college. Some opted to join missionary schools and give their lives to serving Christ. Some chose to work as teachers but not under the Teachers Suffering Center (T.S.C).Fate led them to the Board of Governors in individual secondary schools. By the way, I have lost count of my family members who are in the teaching profession. I highly commend them for the good work they are doing in giving a brighter future to our kids through education and training.
Others opted to go in search of online jobs. Lucky for some, their skills sold them to the highest bidder at a time when the freelancing industry was not yet competitive and had not been dominated by below standard writers. For some, they retreated to their hometowns and set up businesses. Unfortunately, for many who had not done business before, the chances of their businesses staying afloat was 0.00 and there was not much they could do to salvage their businesses because of financial constraints and lack of collateral to borrow bank loans.
Am yet to come across, those who have joined politics in this campaign season that will see Kenyans head to the ballot on the eighth of August. However, a few turned out to be a little mysterious by the fact that life appeared to be figured out for them yet one could not tell what business they run or form of employment they are in.
Finally, there is this last group of few individuals who chose to be scholars. Despite the numerous C.A.T.S, assignments, exams and final project one is subjected to for his undergraduate degree, they did not think of rest or finding work but slipped right away into Master Programmes.
After college, there were few phone calls wired to and fro; friends and former classmates calling and checking on one another. Interestingly, as the years went by the number of phone calls I have received personally have reduced and turned into occasionally “hi” text messages.
For the lovebirds on campus, am sorry to say their lovely and warm romantic lives faded into thin air after the fare thee well message from the chancellor. A few relationships survived the dynamics that came with finishing campus such as having to move from your hometown in search of a job in the city. Few relationships survived the economic hard times that come with finding a job for a graduate in Kenya.
It is actually frightening and discouraging when you meet a young man who finished college 3-5 years ago still struggling to make ends meet. He will not talk about marriage unless you mention it. Few a lucky to have their girlfriends by their side even when they have no stable source of income.
Despite the biting and harsh reality that meets graduate after college, not all is lost for the educated youth in Kenya. Many have been successful and are continuing to be successful by stretching beyond their limits through persistence and determination.
As you wait for that big dream job, here is a list of constructive activities you could do to make a difference in your life:
- Enrolling for a tertiary course
A degree is a percentage of knowledge the world has that confines you to a particular field or profession. One has to be exemplary good at what he chooses to specialize in, in order to sell out. One good way of building your career is by enrolling and sitting for professional exams, enrolling in other short courses related to your major or can add value to your skill base. Time waits for no man, the sooner you identify a course the better.I am currently pursuing an online free course on Coursera. I have already earned my module 1 certificate for Business Metrics for Data-Driven Companies.I have just moved into my next module under Excel to MySQL analytic techniques for Business Specialization. Your given skill in writing, data analysis or graphic design could be monetized with persistence and determination to make you a better person financially.
- Network Marketing
In spite of the venture being received negatively in some quarters, a number of educated youths are making money by selling products such as weight losing tablets, skin care creams and other supplements that sustain and manage one’s health and diet respectively. The concept behind Network Marketing involves selling a particular product to a willing buyer and introducing them into the trade. The buyer X enters into the network marketing chain under you the seller, opens an account with the network marketing company and hits the ground running by selling the same products and building a network of individuals under them called a team. Every individual on the chain earns money form his or her team members. The bigger your team and the more sales they make the more the money you earn.
3. Online Jobs
“It is tiresome, brain-draining and energy-sapping,” my brother once mentioned this to me about academic writing. However, many youths, have opted into this venture rather than wear out their soles in search of unavailable low paying jobs. The few, I have talked to says it pays quite well in between ksh7000-10000 per week during peak seasons.
- Second-hand (Mitumba) Business
Not popular businesses for a degree holder but many youths have found a source of livelihood here. They sell an assortment of second-hand clothes including jeans, trousers, t-shirts, hooded jumpers, singlets and vests. No one can do without clothes. However, one needs to be careful with their display location as putting your stall or boutique where there is no human traffic might make you go hungry. One also needs to sell a variety of men and women second-hand clothes and not just border on one type of clothes such as t-shirts. One also needs to replenish his stock weekly to avoid customers losing their taste because of coming across the same pieces of clothes over and over.
With hawking, one can be sure of no less than Ksh.200 in their pocket daily. Hawking can be done on virtually any commodity including shoes, pens, snacks, pieces of clothing, foodstuffs. All said, this is another rare venture for graduates yet it can eke them a living as they wait for the big job to come by. Read More
I am born, raised and live in Kenya. My parents gave me the the name Job Murunga Kiniale. I am a recent graduate of Horticulture from the University of Eldoret, Kenya. I am also currently pursuing a specialization Excel to MySQL analytic techniques for business on coursera.
I am a passionate and ambitious about writing not just as a hobby but a money generating activity. I came across WordPress.com in 2015, since then my life has not been the same. This is because WordPress has given me a platform to share my thoughts,knowledge and experiences in motivating and inspiring people to be better versions of themselves.
I currently work as a field agent with One Acre Fund, Kenya. One Acre Fund is a non-profit organization with a strong footprint in Rwanda, Kenya,Tanzania, Uganda and is quickly spreading to other African countries. It supplies seeds and fertilizer in form of loans to small holder farmers in the rural areas of East Africa.
Prior to working at One Acre Fund, I worked as a Team Lead with Jagganath Growers in Embu, Kenya. Jagganath Growers is a vegetable company that grows vegetables for the export market.
Aside from my regular job, writing is what I do during my free time. I love to read and write. My passion in writing developed when I was in primary school. My English teachers would commend me and admire my composition writing skills. Before I proceeded to high school, I wrote and took part in a national essay writing competition dubbed “Tea for Better Health and Wealth” and emerged second runners up. I walked home with Ksh.30,000 and a bag of other presents. To a pupil still in primary, that was a lot of money to me. Besides the presents, I had the privilege of visiting Nairobi National Park and dine in a 5-star hotel, the Stanley.
Upon joining high school, my passion did not wane but continued to burn inside me. I continued taking part in essay writing competitions. There was one dubbed “Is Corruption a Violation of Human Rights” that I wrote and was awarded a certificate of participation.
There is this other side of me that it important, and should let you know about it.I am a devoted christian and a Youth leader in my church- Kenya Assemblies of God. I gave my life to Christ in my second year of studies at high school, that was in 2007 . I must say God has been my guide, comforter,shield and fortress in my life journey. As youth leader. I am in charge of at least 200 youths. We occasionally hold prayer meetings and seminars to build one another and advance the gospel of Christ. God has been faithful in saving youths from drug addictions, evil worship and other demonic influences.
Through this blog, I intend to touch on the lives of millions of people by feeding them with the living word of God, words of encouragement, stories and tips that will inspire them to be better Christians, citizens, parents, entrepreneurs and great men and women in society.
NOW YOU KNOW!
As is commonly known, peers are people of the same age, same interests or social status. Peers hang out together, go to watch a football match together and spend a lot of time with one another. Needless to say Read More
Growing up as a child is fun and full of fond memories that travel years back to when we were just teenagers.
Children are known to be playful, adventurous and mischievous. They can go the extra mile in pursuit of that thing that will give them joy and pleasure including swimming naked in a crocodile infested river.
However, that is not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about what money was like to you during childhood. A child or young teenager rarely thinks about money, first because they live comfortably (it could also be uncomfortable) with their parents who provide, have no financial obligations to anybody, are told to study hard in school. The subject of money between teens and their parents in most homes is a no go zone let alone sex.
Most of these subjects, when mentioned by teens, most parents usually reprimand them or for instance ask them what they want money for. Nevertheless, it is written in the good books that train a child the way he should go and he will not depart away from it.
Most parents shy from the subject of sex in most homes and do not want their children or teens to talk about money either with the assumption that they will love money and not study hard in school. How wrong!!
As such, we grow up with sketchy and shallow financial knowledge. We learn about saving and investing in our 20’s when years have already flown by.
It is against this backdrop that I wanna mention 5 things your parent never told you and should have told you as a teenager.
- Have Financial Discipline.
As a child and teenager, you were always reprimanded and whacked for indiscipline and petty mistakes like failing to follow instructions, noise making, stealing food, fighting and many other mistakes. All these, you did and you were caned because your parent, guardian or teacher loved you and wanted to instill discipline in you.
However, there is a discipline that many parents usually forgot to instill in their children; that is financial discipline. Any time as teenagers we would hear about money was when we were being sent to the shops to buy bread. Unfortunately, most of our parents were in tough financial burdens and were not themselves happy either to talk about money.
Subsequently, one grows up to be a good, law abiding citizen espousing the highest form of integrity and honor. On the hand, this law-abiding citizen is a reckless spender and has no savings or investment of any kind. This citizen ends up struggling financially simply because no financial virtues of living below your means, saving and investing were ever instilled in him. King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 21:20 he who sets money aside daily saves big money in the long run but a foolish man spends up everything. Lack of setting aside 10% of our income to save for the future has led to many facing financial walls and struggle with life due to lack of a cushion to fall back on. Secondly, no savings no investment. Your savings are able to save you in a rainy day, help you start a business or clear a loan.
- Learn to Say No.
Parents love their children and want the best for them and therefore, parents protect, guide and provide for their children. They tell them what is considered good behavior and bad. Most parents discourage their children from eating in neighbor’s homes; tell them to say no to strangers and bad company.
Despite their willingness to give better, parents fall short of telling their kids to saying no to activities and behaviors that will darken their financial future such as gambling, alcoholism and casual teen sex.
Activities such as this will end up enslaving teenagers to behaviors that will or might render them broke, addicted and sick. As such teenagers must be made to understand what is good, what is bad and what is morally accepted. This puts them in a good position to rationalize issues and make informed decisions about anything they want do and say no to whatever is bad and destructive.
- Do Not Love Sleep and Pleasure.
Sleep and pleasure are two surefire ways of staying broke and begging. Anyone who has chosen to live above his means because of pleasure does not have the future in mind but only the present. The wise in Proverbs 6:5 writes that sluggards should learn from the ants, consider her ways and they will be wise. Punctuality is an important habit for success.
Pleasure takes or comes in many forms including drinking and partying, laying idle, buying of expensive shoes and clothing, going for tours, site seeing and vacations to your dream destination. However, too much of something is poisonous. Even billionaires go on vacation once in a while but the rest of time they are busy sowing wood. Teenagers with lazy parents learn from what they see and hear and pick the cues from their parents.
Sleep was only made to be understood as a tool for rest and not an enemy of success. 6 hours are recommended as the bare minimum a normal human being can rest. Too much of sleep kills productivity and prevents one from making financial progress. King Solomon says, a little closing of your eyes and folding your arms and poverty will attack like an armed robber. This Christian verses conveys the message that riches and sleep do not go hand in hand.
- Walk With People of Substance.
Bill Gates had a Paul Allen; Steve Jobs had a Tim Cook. In life every single one of us is on a life journey. Destiny is in our own hands, and that destiny is shaped by the choices we make daily. The things you eat today, friends you have, books you read, whatever you hear and listen to ultimately determine where you will be 5-10 years down the line.
Walker used to walk with a pastor friend who had another pastor friend. 7 years later Walker became a powerful church minister and is now ordained as a bishop within the church denomination.
27 year old Martha is a law graduate. She intends to get married to Amos an accountant. However, Martha’s friends are mostly in their 30’s and most of them are single and divorced. They say a thing like “men are dogs”, “I cannot be a housewife” and “marriage is terrible”.
It was not long before Martha broke up with her handsome boyfriend and started singing the same tune as her friends.
2 years later, Amos was married with a kid while Martha was still single and whining.
Birds of the same feather flock together. Who is your best friend?? If all friends you know are losers in one way or another, you would rather walk alone.
- Have a Mentor.
Rather than learn from mistakes in your own life, it is prudent to learn from the mistakes of those who have lived ahead of you.
A mentor is not your biological dad or mum (they could also be)but he is like a life parent to you. He guides and takes you through the stages of life with a lot of counsel, wisdom and understanding whenever you fall.
For us to avoid the many traps and ensnares set before us in our finances, career, relationships and life at large we need a life coach to see us through.
Our parents never talked about mentors in our lives; but as one grows into a young adult life becomes ridden with puzzles that call for wise counsel. In life, it is always important to get good advice from others.
Add any other thing not mentioned that our parents never told us as teenagers and leave a comment.
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Hello champion, it is a pleasure to have you on this site. We value your visit because it is a clear indicator that you wanna be a better version of you; and who does not want to be better anyway. I want to myself.
So today, I wanna feed you with 7 magical points on how to get rid of procrastination; Let’s go for a ride on the roller coaster.
Our lives are cluttered and filled with every human activity or engagement that the mind could possibly lead us to. However, without factoring in order and importance many of us end up in a state of paralysis and procrastination. The result is inaction which leads to zero outcome.
Since school, the importance of preparing a daily To- do- List has always been emphasized. A daily To-do-List enables you write down all the activities you intend to do for the day.
It allows you to prioritize and begin with activities that are most important to you; and how would one know a particular activity is the most important? Probably, the most important activity is one that gives you most happiness and satisfies your values and needs. One can apply the A, B, C technique when it comes to prioritizing.
Such that, the most important activities are categorized under group A, activities that do not need urgency can be categorized under group B and finally the least important of activities can be placed under group C.
These categories could be further subdivided such that we have A1, A2 ;B1, B2 and C1,C2. Of course this is not for the lazy, you are here because you are a champion, right?
2.Press past the Discomfort.
In most cases, the least important of activities in our lives always take the lead. On arriving home from an office job, one would rather watch The Designated Survivor Series than complete writing a business plan.
A young man would rather go out and hang out with his friends or play computer games the whole day rather than learn a new skill or read self-help and personal development books.
Actually, to every single one of us, life is usually filled with choices and options that ultimately determine our destiny. The moment you realize there is no glory without sacrifice that is the point where you enjoy being uncomfortable by simply engaging in those activities that are highly prioritized and are gonna add value to your life.
3.Set Clear Deadlines.
Any time people make pledges or a promise to give money or service delivery, they accompany the pledge with a given deadline. Self-help groups always have rules and one of the rules is to always give out one’s dues on time.
Deadlines enable us work hard to beat them. Interestingly, one would rather work hard to deliver on the deadline of their job or company they work for but have no deadline of their own. Without deadlines in our individual lives, we will lack the will and the commitment to engage in one particular task to its completion.
Maurice, a father of two and a mechanic has always been contemplating about opening a garage of his own.Unfortunately, that is where it stops. He has never gone ahead to put his plans on paper and work within a given time-frame to achieve this particular goal. End result is procrastination and a receding hairline.
4.Cut Out the Distractions.
Before going to bed, the previous night, Josephine had purposed to go on a morning run at 5 a.m the following day. Early in the morning, she woke up to the alarm sound she had set for 5.am. She slowly crawled out of her blankets and put one foot on the floor then another. She then dragged herself to her wardrobe where she put on her running attire and running shoes but guess what four email notifications and two twitter messages popped up on her phone. To cut the story short, there was no morning run.
In some churches, strict pastors have broken apart smartphones of non-attentive believers who have been distracted from listening to the sermon by their smartphones.
How many times do we get distracted by TV, iphones,our own thoughts and even the sweet small-talk within our ears reach; and sacrifice our most important activities at the altar of the less important. The more we pay attention to the distractions the more we build ground for procrastination and completing important tasks late.
5.Take Baby Steps.
One is never to busy to pee when it comes calling. A mega project in your life could be demanding your one hour attention. Maybe the website you are trying to build. Well, you might not build it in one day or three but you can take small action steps that will actualize your dream. Ever since I was a kid, I was made to understand that Rome was not built in a day. Certainly, there is no point, in cancelling or postponing a mega project in your life on the assumption that there is no time.
Time is money, it is of value and essence and we can manage it well if we want to. Take an example of this guy by the name John, who wants to do onion farming. He is aware that onion take 5 months from seeds to a mature onion bulb. Therefore, instead of throwing the idea under the bridge because of the 5 months it will take for him to make returns; John prefers to take small action steps that will one day give him the capacity to run his own commercial farm. He embarks on seed bed preparation on day 1, planting of seeds and covering of the seed bed with shed on day 3,Routine management practices 2 weeks later. His friends would see this as tedious, tiresome and told him to look for a white collar job in the city. John would never listen to their persuasion. Four months down the line, John was looking forward to reap a bumper harvest of onions and smile all the way to the bank.
You better walk baby!!
Every day in our lives we are confronted with multiple choices that we must make the right decision upon. Should you take the route towards the railway or go via the bypass. Are you going by public means or taxi?
Unfortunately, when confronted with major life decisions, many are mentally unprepared to decide. On the contrary,one would rather make a wrong decision than make no decision at all.
Napoleon Hill, in his best seller, Think and Grow Rich lists indecision as one of the major causes of failure in life. He argues that successful people arrive at decisions very fast and change them very slowly, the opposite is true with average individuals.
Indecision leads to procrastination since not being able to decide on anything means postponing whatever you were meant to do into the infinite future.
Falling on wrong decisions is the way to go for you will later stand up with the right decisions
7.Love What You Must Do
Bill Gates, is listed by Forbes magazine as the world richest man with a net worth of US$89 billion. He dropped out of Harvard University to pursue his tech. dream of Microsoft. The rest as we know is history.
Prior to his drop out , Bill Gates once narrated how he used to be a lousy student who did last minute assignments when the deadline was just around the corner. However, he learnt the hard way that things cannot work that way in business.
To be able to beat procrastination and it’s power over you, understand that it is important to love what you must do.
Early mornings, always present us with an opportunity for prayer, meditation, devotions or something positive..However some would rather wake up with the news bulletin.
If employed, it is your responsibility to report to work for 9 hours beginning 8 a.m to 5 p.m depending on your terms of service. Unfortunately, many do not love their jobs and would rather take feigned sick offs, skive important company meetings to go rest or engage in other activities. Love what you must do.
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